The Rant Of The Week: This Sure Is Some War...

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I, your personal harvester of sorrow…the one and only Phantom Lord and this is the all mighty Rant Of The Week. As usual I am coming to you from my above ground bunker in Brooklyn, New York and I am glad that spring is almost upon us. Granted the loveable oversized rat known as Staten Island Chuck at the Staten Island Zoo said that spring would come early this year and we ended up getting two blizzards in the process, but all is forgiven as the snow is now gone and temperatures are finally way above freezing for once.

Well the day the wrestling world was waiting for has finally come and gone. The Monday Night Wars 2: Electric Boogaloo have started and TNA at least in my book I think did an amazing job for the most part and actually put on a damn fine program. RAW on the other hand was the same old shit because well lets face it; Vince isn’t too concerned about TNA.

Unfortunately for TNA, as good as the show was it did not live up to the hype (or lack there of) ratings wise and it BOMBED against RAW. I don’t think anyone is honestly surprised because well there is no war. In terms of war this is the United States vs. Grenada. TNA while they have a better product wrestling wise (for the most part), they cannot compete with the WWE head to head. The ratings for this show prove this as a fact.

Last week’s Quarter Hour Ratings for Raw & Impact:
Raw on 3/8 did quarter hours of 3.45, 3.15, 3.27, 3.15, 3.39, 3.56, 3.27, and 3.6 with a 3.98 over-run.

TNA on 3/8 did quarter hours of .99, .98, 1.00, 1.07, 1.07, 1.03, .95, and .76 with a 1.01 over-run.

That means people were tuning out towards the end of the show, and the first Hogan/Flair match on TV in over a decade did a .76 rating. Perhaps Spike TV could draw better ratings with a dog show.

Credit to www.f4wonline.com & DOIWrestling.com

I don’t pretend to understand how Nielsen ratings even begin to work, but something is clearly wrong when people start tuning out in mass when the main event started. As I said I thought Impact was the far superior show this past Monday night. The only problem is NO ONE GIVES A SHIT. People can argue all they want “OH WELL IT’S RUSSO…OH WELL IT’S HOGAN”. None of that really matters. It doesn’t matter how great of a roster TNA has or how many WWE castoffs’ it has or what ever. The problem is no one gives a shit about TNA. TNA has its core audience and that is it. TNA has done NOTHING and I mean NOTHING to build its brand and build an audience outside of the one it all ready has. They are just expecting people to magically start watching and to get hooked.

Well what’s the reason for me to watch? GIVE ME A DAMN REASON. There is an entire audience out there waiting to be tapped and you are doing nothing to get them.

See at this point when one is talking about ratings and TNA I just can’t help but play back a great bit in my head by the late Sam Kinison about how to solve the food problem in Africa. Granted its context makes no sense when comparing it to TNA, but in my head I have Sam’s voice screaming when I think about TNA. Sam says YOU MOVE THEM WHERE THE FOOD IS. Well TNA GIVE US A REASON TO WANT TO WATCH. SEEING THESE OLD CODGERS AND RIPPING OFF SHIT FROM 2000 ISN’T GOING TO CUT IT. I’m not going to tune in just because oh well look your on Monday night’s. You have to give me a reason to tune in and while I said Impact was the better show it was up against a RAW where Vince has been phoning it in for the last decade. He could re-run RAW’s from last year and no one would notice. He could say after Wrestlemania, RAW’s taking off the next month and you guys still wouldn’t be able to do anything because you give people no reason to want to watch.

The one thing that irked me the most about Impact was the whole TUNE IN FOR BIG SURPRISES. Well surprises are nice, but when you have no name value instead of promising surprises why not just announce who the hell is going to appear and plug the shit out of that. Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam are in TNA and they didn’t get so much as a mention because TNA and Spike thought that keeping it hush hush was the best option.
In the day of the Internet where any schmuck with a cell phone can post a status update on Facebook or Twitter with in seconds, it’s insane to think anything can be kept secret anymore.

They should have had RVD and Jeff Hardy on the promotion scene hitting radio stations and talk shows and hyping the hell out of the show. Instead things are kept quiet and RVD gets a fluke win over Sting and then gets the shit beaten out of him for what seemed forever because Hogan can’t run up the stairs anymore. Jeff Hardy then makes the save at the end of the show and it goes off the air before he even does his Swanton Bomb.

It’s honestly amazing at how inept TNA is when it comes to promotion. Yes Youtube and the Internet is a wonderful thing for marketing. But when you are trying to get an audience outside of the one you all ready have, it only can do so much. The funny thing is TNA has some very good videos that they put on Youtube. Perhaps they should also air these videos on television as well. It couldn’t hurt to throw a hype video on in place of wacky boss vs. worker comedy like Bischoff trying to get Jarrett to quit for some reason that’s not really clear. Then again, a lot of things with TNA are not really clear.

Ok well enough TNA talk for now. It’s taped this week and they are giving away a Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles match for free. I mean it’s not like anyone would want to pay to see that sort of thing…

I am eagerly awaiting Wrestlemania 26 for the Bret Hart and Vince McMahon match. There is so much intrigue in this match just to how it’s going to happen. Bret gave an interview with CTV news where he will be very careful and not to be worried about his safety in the ring.



As a long time fan of Bret Hart’s I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad concerned about him in the ring. But on the same token I realize Bret knows his limitations and he’s going up against Vince McMahon. This won’t be a highly technical encounter. It will be a straight up brawl where Bret is going to exercise the demons of Montreal once and for all when he beats the snot out of Vince and then locks on The Sharpshooter and makes Vince scream for mercy.

Over the last few weeks it seemed like all this was going to be was the usual Vince McMahon wankfest where he puts himself over everyone. But all of that changed last night after the contracts were signed. All the weeks of him making fun of Bret and making him look like a weak old man ended when Vince got a small taste of what’s coming to him at Wrestlemania.


Awe shit…



…Yep

I haven’t marked out like I did last night in quite a while after that little visual. Vince slowly realizing that Bret was 100% was so awesome. Bret was equally as awesome as he just sat there with a smirk on his face. This is the difference between the WWE and TNA. I know the lowly dwellers on the Internet give the WWE a lot of hate for the lack of creativity it shows at times, but when it gets it right…it gets it right. TNA couldn’t have pulled off the same exact angle with all the same people involved even if they tried.

Speaking of which we have BREAKING NOOZ!!!



The first reports are that RAW did a 3.7 and Impact did a 0.8.
Credit to PWInsider.com


Ouch.

I don’t think anything really needs to be said about that. That can just speak for it self and it speaks volumes.

We all know what’s going to happen though. TNA is going to push the panic button and they are going to do something stupid. There are many levels of stupid so I couldn’t begin to speculate here. Rest assured though when they do it, it should be spectacular.

Maybe I should point out that TNA does have my contact information so if they ever want a fresh mindset I am available. I mean I could easily double a 0.8 in a month if I had complete creative control. I have plenty of ideas on what one could do to turn things around, but I’m not giving them away for free here.

Come to think of it, that seems to be a problem you guys have. You gave away Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles FOR FREE. Yes I know odds are Jeff might be in federal prison soon, but that’s no reason to blow your wad with him now.

I mean if I were in charge of things I sure as hell would not have given away Hardy/Styles for free.

Okay I’m gonna get back to some thoughts on the WWE because as much as I might hate them at times, they are least have a clue as to what they are doing. One thing they are doing right is The Undertaker/Shawn Michaels feud. Each week the hype videos get better and better for this match and I can honestly say I cannot wait to see it.
Over the last couple of weeks they have been setting these videos to the song “Ain’t No Grave” by Johnny Cash from his latest posthumous album “American VI: Ain’t No Grave”. It’s one of the last songs Cash recorded before he died in 2003 and it’s an old Gospel song that tells the tale of when the time comes for the final battle of mankind, the grave won’t hold him down when it comes time to fight. In many ways it’s very fitting for this feud since you have Shawn Michaels who is still doing his Passion Of The Christ gimmick.

Just to be clear I’m not mocking Jesus here, just Shawn and his over selling in matches. Watch him during any match…even when he’s phoning it in. He’ll always be selling his back like it’s broken but he still has it in him to keep on fighting. The Passion Of The Christ joke stems from when Shawn would tap epic gushers in matches for no apparent reason back in 2003 to 2005.

Next to Bret’s match with Vince, I am really looking forward to Michaels/Taker II. I honestly don’t know what they can possibly do to top last years match since that was about as perfect as it gets (aside from the Undertaker giving himself a Piledriver on a botched suicide dive). Shawn being consumed with having to prove himself by beating The Undertaker has been such an awesome touch to the build. And now that his career is on the line if he loses it’s going to make it all the more fun. The only way to win is pinfall or submission. It’s the way wrestling should be.
Don’t tell anyone in the WWE that I used the W word. Lord knows they do everything they can to avoid using it. Sports entertainment, second-generation entertainer, ect, ect.

Speaking of wrestling, the WWE Hall Of Fame is official now and here is the current list of inductees.

Gorgeous George will be inducted by Betty Wagner

Stu Hart will be inducted by the Hart Family.

Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase will be inducted by Ted & Brett DiBiase

Antonio Inoki will be inducted by Stan Hansen.

Mad Dog Vachon will be inducted by Pat Patterson.

Wendi Richter will be inducted by Roddy Piper.

Not officially announced yet: Bob Uecker will be inducted by long-time NBC chairman Dick Ebersol.

That is a very stacked line up for this years Hall Of Fame. I hope Inoki’s induction will be on television just so we can see Stan Hansen come out and with any luck he’ll have the bull rope he’ll do some hoopin and a hollerin.

Wendi Richter will be an interesting one to watch for two reasons. One it will be fun to see what Piper says. He said in an interview Vince asked him to induct her because he’s the only one still alive from back then. Oh sure there are others still alive, but most of them are dead to Vince. The other reason it will be interesting is because Wendi was the first person to be screwed by Vince McMahon in a ring on live television. I remember the first time I saw the Richter/Spider Lady match on a Coliseum Video tape and I was like what just happened. That wasn’t a three count…but then Moolah took off the mask and I was like oooh ok it makes sense now. Of course what I didn’t know back then was Vince screwed over Wendi and that was the last time anyone would ever see her in the WWF. I always wondered what happened to her and years later I finally found out why she was never seen again after that. Well it’s been 25 years or so since that happened so it’s only fitting on the weekend that Bret gets to have his moment in the sun against Vince that Wendi comes back and gets her due.

I am interested in seeing the Gorgeous George induction mainly because you figured he would have been in it all ready. I really would have loved to been at the old Madison Square Garden on 8th Avenue and 50th Street to have seen a match with him. The heat he must have gotten just walking to the ring must have been nuclear. Apparently the WWE is going to be making a movie about his life so that’s the reason why they decided to induct him into the Hall Of Fame. Well better late then never I always say. It’s to bad they couldn’t get Muhammad Ali since Ali has always said that George’s character is what inspired him to be the style of fighter he became. But I’m glad they are inducting him because with out Gorgeous George there would not have been an entire generation of wrestlers in the late 60’s and early 70’s.

One thing I can’t figure out is if Mad Dog Vachon is being inducted; why not induct Butcher Vachon along with him like they did with Dory and Terry Funk? Butcher is equally as deserving as Mad Dog. On Youtube if you know where to look, there is a video of Da Crusher running in and attacking The Vachon’s during a match and Mad Dog ends up tapping a gusher that turns the ring into a murder scene. Granted it’s because Da Crusher stepped on his head as he was blading, but it was still pretty damn gory. Well worth checking out if you’re not getting your blood fix for this week.

Bob Uecker’s induction has gotten some hate on the Internet from the purist types who cant understand why a celebrity is being inducted into the Hall Of Fame. First off even as a Yankee fan I know that The Ueck is awesome. Secondly watch Major League 1 & 2 to confirm this fact. Third…it’s the WWE Hall Of Fame. If he were being inducted into the Dan Gable International Wrestling Institute and Museum then maybe some people would have a point. But it’s the WWE Hall Of Fame. Be more upset that Bruno Samartino, Bob Backlund, and Macho Man Randy Savage aren’t in (though those are more of them telling the WWE they don’t need it/heat with Vince more then anything else).

One last thing before I go, yesterday the WWE announced that chair shots to the head have now been banned in accordance with the “wellness policy”.


*The WWE has eliminated using folding metal chairs to “strike” an opponent in the head.

*The WWE penalizes through fine and/or suspension the following:

-The intentional use of a folding metal chair to “strike” an opponent in the head.

-Any blow to the head that is deemed an INTENTIONAL act.

*The fine and/or suspension will be directed by the EVP of Talent Relations.

This seems to be a good thing but as usual plenty of people are complaining about this as another reason PG is killing the WWE. This has nothing to do with being TVPG. This has everything to do with maybe allowing some of these guys to have some functioning brain cells left. It’s to bad state athletic commissions don’t take wrestling to seriously anymore because there are plenty of Indy feds where guys are taking shots to the head and getting their brains scrambled. Only difference between them and the WWE is, guys in the WWE are making money doing it.

But one has to wonder what else will be sacrificed in the name of safety. Throwing someone into the ring post? Slamming them into the ring steps? All variations of the DDT? All versions of the Piledriver and Powerbomb? All the Chokeslams? How long before punches to the head and headbutt’s are considered no-no’s?

I admire the WWE for doing this, but the real reason they are is so people don’t have any fodder to use against Linda McMahon in her run for the Senate. Of course there all ready is plenty to use against her just with the WWE’s business practices alone. But what ever the motivation, if it prevents even one guy from ending up with serious brain issues later in life then it is worth it.

On that note I am done for this week. Before I go, congratulations are in order for Adam Pearce who won the NWA World Heavyweight Championship for a third time. Pearce defeated Blue Demon Jr(the champion) and Phil Shatter in a three-way match to on March 14 at NWA New Beginnings in Charlotte, NC. The NWA has been doing a lot of rebuilding since the whole fiasco with TNA using the World and World Tag team titles. Pearce has many detractors in wrestling, but I think everyone will agree that it’s a good thing that the NWA World title is back up north after it’s vacation south of the border as I read on a message board I go to.

On www.DOIWrestling.com there was this post from Eric Walker and an unnamed NWA Promoter.

The NWA World Title Belt itself runs about $1,900. Sadly, this means the physical belt is worth more than the Championship it represents. Honestly, if the NWA had a brain, they would do a unification match with ROH and at least the NWA Belt would be defended on ROH shows and the occasional NWA territory show and Japan. Oh, and the NWA did such a great job promoting this show I didn't even know the show was happening let alone the title switch. Oh, and where can you get a cup of coffee for 50 cents?
- Eric Walker

Please don't insult coffee by comparing it to Adam Pierce. Adam is a horseshit champion. People at least line up for coffee. -
A current NWA promoter

I haven’t seen much of Pearce so I can’t comment on him being a “horse shit” champion. But the idea of unifying the NWA and ROH titles seems like a good one and it would make sense to do. In a perfect world one could work out a deal and make ROH the NWA’s flagship territory. I really wish promoters would come together like in the old days instead of backstabbing each other. But alas that is pro wrestling so there will always be one guy shit talking about someone else because they are working against him or something.
Well on that note I am done for this week. I would like to thank TNA for fueling my creative fires once again because this Monday Night Skirmish has me somewhat interested in writing as much as I can again. As long as they do stupid stuff and continue to dig themselves deeper into a grave they can’t get out of, I’ll have plenty of material.

So until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

Monday, Monday...

It's a mere 8 hours before the return of TNA Wrestling's iMPACT! to Mondays. The difference? This time, they're not going live on Thursdays anymore. The famed Monday Night Wars have returned - if only in concept.

During the original Monday Night Wars, World Championship Wrestling defeated WWF/WWE for over a year's worth of consecutive Mondays. The New World Order was the hottest thing in wrestling since the dawn of Hulkamania. Can David knock off Goliath again? Is Vince Mcmahon's in-ring return enough to shut down Hogan's hype tour?

My feelings have always been the same on the subject:

1. Competition is good for the business and the fans. It makes each company work harder to produce a better product the fans will want to watch. Otherwise, the product is shoved down our throats or we simply tune it out.

2. TNA is still solidly playing the role of the underdog. They're less wealthy, on a lesser-known and broadcasted network, and they've got a payroll/roster full of former WWE and WCW "stars." I think that alone is a dangerous formula.

3. Pissing off Vince McMahon is a very bad idea. The fact that his Superstar of the '80s now works for another company (again) has to be grinding his gears - hard. WWE will not back down. If TNA wants a war, they've got one. Hulk Hogan may just be poking at the top of a white-hot fire thinking TNA can compete now. He was there when WCW was on top, and he was there when it died. He will not want to admit defeat to his former boss - again.

4. On the other hand, maybe a pissed off Vince McMahon is exactly what Hogan wants. McMahon is known to blow up backstage over the little things, and the last decade of WWE programming has been a lot of what I've come to call "the VKM Amusement Show." He gets the final say on everything, so if the ratings suck, guess who is to blame? Recycled angles, cheesy humor, lewd jokes, and less and less wrestling is WWE now. It's entertainment that isn't always entertaining, and I've gotten used to rolling my eyes (or threatening to stab myself in the neck like I did when "ECW" became Vince's newest pet project).

In any event, the Monday Night Wars have returned. Don't miss it!

The Rant Of The Week: Whats NXT

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is my Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from the frozen apple that is New York City and the Elimination chamber PPV has happened I can’t help but think it will be really anti-climatic to some. I’m sure there will be plenty of “Worst Wrestlemania main-event” from some, but me personally I’m optimistic. But before we even get to that there are a lot of other bits of news that just have to be commented on by yours truly.

First off a fond farewell to the little company that could…ECW. After years of lingering in a persistent vegetative state and making a miraculous recovery like Steven Segal in “Hard To Kill”, time caught up it and it died a peaceful yet uneventful death last week.



I think it’s only fitting that ECW is laid to rest in a Kiss Kasket. I mean sure you could get something made out of fine wood or perhaps something you could store nuclear waste in…but why not go out in style. ECW had a long tumultuous life and it’s time for it to finally be at peace. The company that was officially born when Shane Douglas threw down the NWA Title and told them all that they could kiss his ass is now finally gone. To be safe it might be smart to take it out to the Joshua Tree Park and torch ECW like Graham Parsons was by his best friend. All it could take is Vince having a mood swing and thinking to himself “YOU KNOW WHAT, WE HAVEN’T BLED THIS FOR ALL IT’S WORTH YET”. But for now it appears ECW is going into deep storage in the WWE vaults because the brain trust have come up with a “new and exciting concept” called WWE NXT.

NXT is supposed to be sort of like Tough Enough and The Ultimate Fighter…only scripted. There are eight pros and eight rookies all vying to make it to the WWE.

So far these are the parings for the show.

Chris Jericho & Wade Barrett
Matt Hardy & Justin Gabriel (probably Justin Angel with a new name)
William Regal & Skip Sheffield
Carlito & Michael Tarver
The Miz & Daniel Bryan
Christian & Heath Slater
CM Punk & Darren Young

R-Truth & David Otunga

The most interesting paring is The Miz and Daniel Bryan a.k.a. The American Dragon Bryan Danielson. You could hear the collective groans from some when Danielson was renamed, but you would think a war crime was committed when he was paired up with The Miz. Of course all the haters are missing the big picture that it’s all about story telling and Bryan as the Indy tested rookie being paired up with The Miz who will show him how to “make it” will be all kinds of fun.

On the WWE Universe site, The Miz posted a MONEY blog about all of this and if you haven’t read it you really should.

http://fans.wwe.com/themiz/blog/2010/02/18/mentoring_daniel_bryan_on_wwe_nxt

If this were on television it would be a promo of the year. Miz put in place everyone who thinks this is a bad idea. I think it was a brilliant idea to put The Miz with him. It’s all about television segments and considering how on FIRE The Miz has been for the last year I have no doubt he’s segments will be the highlights of the show.

Another sure to be highlight is the pairing of William Regal and Skip Sheffield. Skip is the former Ryan Reeves. He is one of the people from the last Tough Enough who are still around simple because he’s a giant muscle head. Originally in FCW he was doing some sort of Terminator gimmick but as things tend to be in the WWE, someone got bored with that and said “hey why not have him as a goofy singing cowboy”. So Ryan becomes Skip and he has some gimmick where he gets the crowd to chant YIP YIP YIP with him. Just picture Regal and the look of disgust after the first YIP is uttered.

CM Punk has an interesting guy in Darren Young. I say he’s interesting because well look at him.



The guy looks like a black John Cena or at least John Cena if he was in a tanning bed that was set to oven roast. I was hoping the first thing CM Punk would do is “guess what kid your joining the SES” and breaks out the clippers. No one ever said being straight edge had to be a voluntary thing. It was hilarious though to see the look of distain and contempt that CM Punk had for this kid. The “I don’t even know why I’m here” promo he did was awesome. Punk becoming the prick everyone knows that he is has been so awesome for Smackdown and I can’t wait for what’s going to happen next with him and Darren Young.



Punk: Come on guys just ignore him

After watching the show, if there is anyone who will be a break out star for the WWE it has to be David Otunga. My God this guy gets the kind of publicity Vince would kill for with anyone else. The “I’m from Hollywood, Went to Harvard, and Met the President…Twice” bit was really awesome. I just hope his skills in the ring match up those outside the ring. His match with Darren Young was short and sweet which is how Vince likes it for guys he obviously sees dollar signs in. I don’t know about the rest of the guys on this show, but they really have their work cut out for them to compete with Bryan and Otunga.

The only thing I didn’t like about NXT was there was none of the innovative & revolutionary concepts that they kept hyping. It was pretty much any other WWE show just with new people on it. There’s supposed to be “a unique combination of heart-stopping entertainment and gritty behind-the-scenes reality” but like I said, I haven’t seen it. If they wanted to do reality they could have probably just taped it down at the Florida Championship Wrestling facility. It sure would be cheaper then taking everyone on the road but I’m not complaining. The dynamics between the pro’s and rookies have been good so far so that’s all you can ask for. I just wish Fit Finlay were involved with this instead of say R-Truth. The Truth looked so damn ridiculous doing that stupid rap and his equally stupid dancing to the ring. I just can’t take Killings seriously because of that stupid intro of his. I can only hope at some point this season Otunga gets annoyed with The Truth dragging him down and he beats him senseless.

One thing that everyone will enjoy on this show is the glory of Michael Cole as a prick. We got a taste of it during the Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho match where Cole was running down the Internet and mocking Daniel for being a star in front fifty people.

There are people within WWE right now who are trying to say that the interaction between Michael Cole and Josh Matthews on WWE NXT this week was a shoot but some are skeptical. Joey Styles backed this up on Twitter as he "assured us" that the commentating between Cole and Lawler was "very real." Styles said that Cole "lives in the WWE bubble."

Credit to PWInsider.com

It’s really great to see the WWE using this for fodder on television. Michael Cole as he is on RAW is one of the most boring announcers ever. You can tell the guy has no passion for what he is doing and I only imagine he does it because the money is pretty damn good. Well of course the money is good…that goes with out saying. But Michael Cole as a prick and putting down the Internet and the Indies was just great. I can only hope he brings this to the table during RAW. It would finally make RAW somewhat interesting again.

Speaking of RAW, it has been very hit or miss lately. While there has been some great stuff like the feud building with HBK and The Undertaker, the rest has been so-so to be honest. It doesn’t matter what show HBK/Taker is on because it will be amazing no matter what. But the rest of the show has been very hit or miss. What should have been the biggest angle with Bret vs. Vince seems to have lost its steam. Now I only hope this is a temporary thing, but it appears they are building to Cena vs. Batista with Bret and Vince in the respective corners. I won’t mind if that does happen, but honestly I saw no need for the WWE title to be involved. I might be in the minority here on the Internet, but I was enjoying the hell out of Sheamus’s run as WWE Champion. Yes it was to soon for him to be champion…but he was making the most of it. So now with the WWE title on Batista, Sheamus is S.O.L. so to speak. Rumor has it he and Triple H will be having a match at Wrestlemania, but even if Triple H does like him it still will be a kick wham pedigree…thanks for coming.

With Bret and Vince that was at least something a lot of us thought we would never see happen. Personally I think too much is made of Bret Hart and his condition. People at like Bret would have to work a match at 200% or something. First off if there is some sort of match with Vince…HE’S FACING VINCE. All of Vince’s matches revolve around punches, kicks, and occasional wrestling moves so Vince can pose and strut to the crowd. I think it’s been so long that people have forgotten the miracle worker Bret is even in the worst of circumstances.

Bret Hart had a match on a Monday Nitro against Will Sasso. Yes fat guy who used to be on Mad TV…That Will Sasso. Bret managed to make that five minutes of weirdness on Nitro work so who is to doubt him here. No one is expecting him to do superplexes off the top rope or anything major. It’s like I said before, all Bret really has to do is kick Vince right in the balls and then lock on the sharpshooter. Bret gets to end the wrong of Montreal and everyone goes home happy.

Speaking of Batista, it’s amazing how much of a 180 he has done since become a full fledged heel again. I like to refer to him as Kanyetista since it’s pretty clear Batista has become the WWE’s version of Kanye West. The outlandish fashion sense he has only confirms this theory for me. I am all for Batista being an egomaniacal bastard. As a face to say he was bland would do a disservice to the word bland. Batista’s heel turn could be one of the best things for the WWE in a while.

Now one of the best things that might happen to the WWE in the long run is TNA moving to Monday nights on March 8th. Yes the egos of Hogan, Bischoff, and Carter believe TNA can compete on Monday nights and to tell you the truth I think there is the potential for them to do so. As I mentioned before when it comes to Monday Night RAW, most of the show is hit or miss. If one were to break it down into percentages I would guess about 70% of the show is miss right now. It’s boring as hell and equally predictable no matter what. TNA while going full force into recreating WCW in the late 90’s is at least not boring. All the pieces are dare I say finally in place for TNA to prove the doubters wrong. There is potential for TNA to chip away at the RAW audience. While I doubt we’ll see any ratings wars like in the good old days, it’s not out of the question for in a few months time for TNA to reach the illusive 1.5 mark if not higher.

RAW has been on cruise control for the last decade. McMahon is way past the point of taking the audience for granted. People just show up and watch with out question for the most part. Well TNA have all the tools for people to take a look at it and say, “hey you know this isn’t half bad, at least Cena isn’t doing his superman act”.

I know a lot of people are pissed with the pairing of Ric Flair and AJ Styles, but to be honest this has been the most interesting AJ has been in years. Flair has breathed new life into him as AJ is a low rent version of Flair. Some say Flair is becoming the new JJ Dillon well if that’s the case then AJ is the new Tully Blanchard. It would be cool if TNA got Tully to come in and do something. I mean if your going to bring in some old guy then why not bring in someone who can work some magic. Tully has his head on straight after years of living the lifestyle. How awesome would it be to see Tully come in and cut a money promo on AJ talking about how Flair is going to destroy him with the path he’s leading him on.

I’m sure I could fantasy book it from there, but I don’t like giving away my good idea’s for free. My point is though there is a lot that can be done with Flair and AJ and the current feud that is being built with The Pope has been pretty damn good. Dare I say TNA might actually build up a World Title match on a PPV that people are going to want to buy and see.

That’s been TNA’s biggest problem for the longest time now. They for the life of them cannot get people to order their ppv’s. We ordered the Against All Odds PPV and I thought it was actually pretty damn good. I think it’s a mistake that they charge $34.95 but aside from that it was a rather solid show. TNA has always had solid PPV’s for the most part, but they just can’t get anyone to order them. Uncle Eric probably has a plan to work on this problem and I really hope they do because there have been some great matches on these PPV’s and it’s a shame no one ever sees them.

Since I brought up the topic of PPV prices, the WWE’s are now up to $44.95. I have one small issue with them if they are going to charge this much and expect people order these shows.

Can you people please put some damn effort into these shows? By effort I mean book them in advance and not throw together half the damn card three days before the show or have unannounced matches during the live show. It’s just a little issue I have with them. I mean The Miz and MVP had been building up to a title match and the WWE throws it on the PPV with out even mentioning anything. The Miz has been on fire the last few months so maybe it would have been nice to use that to ones advantage to have him build a match on the show.

It would just be nice to know what’s on the card in advance. Of course this would mean they would have to abandon the three-week crash and burn system they have going now where it’s a PPV then three weeks of TV and another PPV. I do find it funny that the WWE is naming all their PPV’s after gimmicks on the show now. The Survivor Series is gone but in its place is WWE INSERT GIMMICK MATCH NAME HERE.

On the plus side since Vince is running out of ideas some old WCW ones will be coming out of mothballs including possibly Battlebowl, Spin The Wheel…Make The Deal, and War Games. Personally if you are running out of PPV names why not just bring back Starrcade? It would be a lot better then WWE Tables, Ladders, and Chairs in the month of December.

Its ironic War Games might be finally coming back and it’s in an era where there can’t be a drop of blood. It was like that in the mid 90’s as well and for the most part those War Games matches sucked. Maybe we can get a War Games retrospective DVD if it does indeed come back. It would be nice to see all of the War Games matches in one collection…especially 1997’s War Games. I’ve never seen that one and I would like to. I don’t know if any tape exists but it would be cool if some of the ultra rare house shows War Games matches were some how included. Apparently back in the late 80’s and early 90’s NWA/WCW would do War Games matches in some markets so those must have been fun to see live like that. So who knows but maybe buried deep in the WCW archive might be a couple of those matches. The promos for them exist, so one can hope for those as well.

Well I think I am done for this week. Honestly I do try to write these things sooner but sometimes it’s hard to keep on a regular schedule when you don’t find anything interesting. But Chris Jericho is taking on Edge at Wrestlemania so at least Smackdown will continue to be the best show in all of wrestling. CM Punk continues to be amazing as he dances a fine line of blasphemy and I hope he goes into Wrestlemania with something more this year then being in Money In The Bank.

Hopefully I will be back sooner rather then later with my next column. So until then take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback in my Live Journal at phantomlord-lop.livejournal.com

Edge returned to WWE at the Royal Rumble, drawing #29, and winning himself an opportunity to contend for gold at WrestleMania. The Ultimate Opportunist has returned!

Will he return to SmackDown! or Raw? Will he make history and become champion again? Time will tell, but the fact is, Edge’s return was a major shocker, kept a secret by WWE personnel until his entrance theme blared over the speakers into the arena. One thing is for certain, Edge is a man on a mission, and that mission may be completed at WrestleMania!

The Rant Of The Week: WCW Is Back Everyone!!!

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord, and this is my Rant Of The Week. Its only twenty days into the new year (give or take) so I figured why not fire off the first official column of the new year. As always I am coming to you from the frozen apple that is New York City and so far the world of wrestling has started off exactly where it left off at the end of 2009 and that is not a good thing. The WWE and TNA while having some bright spots overall have a vast majority of idiocy going on and as usual all that does is annoy me and anyone else watching.

In my last my last column I think I was a tad over optimistic about the regime change in TNA. I have all the respect in the world for Uncle Eric because when it comes to production the man is a proven winner. Wrestling on the other hand and he has just been very lucky. He got lucky with the N.W.O. because by all accounts something like that should have never worked. Here we are almost fifteen years later and he’s still trying to get some blood from that stone when it was bled dry a decade ago. I can’t believe it’s 20 FUCKING ten and here I am writing about WCW being driven into the ground again. Only difference is TNA never got off the ground to begin with.

Oh sure TNA has made it farther and longer then it has had any right to, but the problem with TNA is they have always thought they were bigger then they really are. TNA at best is a regional promotion that just happens to have a national television deal. It drives me nuts that I have to keep bringing up these points, but if I don’t whom else will (well aside from everyone else on the internet doing it)?

Moving along a video surfaced on the Internets of one of the production people telling everyone not to curse, throw up certain hand gestures and gang signs. The part that has made for a lot of fun debate on the net is when TNA Director of Production Steve Small tells the Impact Zone that they are cast members.

Click here to see the video if you haven’t all ready. If it’s not there just search TNA Cast Members on Youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVi3U-7YqhM

Now in the early part of this decade when I was going to school for television production and I had hope for the future, I worked the soundboard in the little studio at my college in the studio. It is a load of crap to say you can’t mute the audience. I am guessing the set up at Universal is a tad bit more complicated then the one at my old CUNY school, but it’s still all the same in the end. All of the mic’s go into the board and you have all these faders. On Impact when the crowd was chanting BULLSHIT BULLSHIT they were lowering the master. What they should have done as this guy in the video points out is lower the individual mic’s. Maybe not all 84 but they could have easily cut the audience with out muting everything and making TNA look even worse then it all ready does.

The cast member line though was funny to say the least. See this is not the first time TNA has done this sort of stuff. It happened long ago in the old days of TNA when they were in Nashville. Back then on the right side of the isle way there were a group of fans known as The Heel Section. They used to cheer for all the heels and boo all the faces. A lot of the TNA wrestlers liked these guys and they even wore Heel Section t-shirts. Of course TNA management didn’t like them and one week suddenly the Heel Section wasn’t there. If one wants to they can search on the Internet way back machine and they can find the Heel Section’s take on what happened. Since this is close to five years ago I am going to give the paraphrased cliff notes version as told to me by one of the Heel section guys himself.

Basically after every show down in Nashville everyone would go to I think a local IHOP or diner of some sort. Bob Ryder (of 1Wrestling.com and WCW’s 900 number) was working for TNA and he told the guys in the heel section the following. Bare in mind I am only paraphrasing here but this is pretty much the jist of it.

”TNA is our show and you’ll cheer and boo who ever we tell you to. If you don’t we’ll find people who will”

Back when I was on LOP I remember writing a column and mentioning this and the humorous “BORASH FEARS THE HEEL SECTION” pic I put as the header using my blank sign Kanyon template actually got posted on the heel section website. TNA’s position was these guys are just putting themselves over everyone else. Well they was probably true, but much like right now back then things were pretty much the same so we all were just rooting for the people who deserved to be rooted for. If they were a heel then so be it. I mean some how it’s always the lowly fan’s fault when they boo and complain about the product and instead of fixing it TNA’s solution is always demonize the fans rather then correct the problem.

Now I don’t know if the video in question was directed at any one group of fans in particular, but I think it just proves my theory that TNA would rather piss off it’s audience rather then try and fix it’s problems.

I did laugh at the notion that they are trying to be family friendly and appeal to children so we wouldn’t want to teach kids how to flip the bird or learn curse words. I mean for me personally I never learned any of the seven dirty words and then some while I was in school in the schoolyard during lunch or recess. And I certainly never learned how to flip some one off or give them the Italian salute there either…

The way I figure it TNA doesn’t have to go out before shows and beg the crowd not to chant obscene words or use obscene gestures. There is a very simple solution that will get everyone to stop doing this sort of stuff.

Now if anyone from TNA is reading this you might want to get ready to copy and paste this onto another word or text document.

Okay are you ready?

Here is the Phantom Lord approved sure-fire way to get fans from stop chanting BS and other obscene sayings and such…


STOP PUTTING ON A FUCKING BULLSHIT PRODUCT AND DRIVING US INSANE. THAT’S HOW YOU FUCKING DO IT.

STOP RIPPING OFF FUCKING MONTREAL. WE DON’T WANT TO SEE FUCKING SCREWJOBS OR BOSS VS. EMPLOYEE OR N FUCKING W FUCKING O REDUX. STOP PUTTING ON BULLSHIT AND WE’LL STOP SAYING IT.

I feel better now that I’ve communicated that with you. If anyone from TNA would like to discuss this further it’s not that hard to get in contact with me.

Seriously I was pondering that this week. I’ve been writing this column for pretty much the last decade. I’ve been on some of the “biggest” sites on the net and I’m wondering how come I don’t have any sources?

Surely there must be plenty of people inside TNA or the WWE or any company who want to spill some info. I can only imagine when it comes to TNA the sheets have only scratched the tip of the iceberg.

The Hogan era is not off to the best of starts. We’re only about three weeks in but if this is what we have to look forward to I am almost tempted to say put Jarrett and his lackey’s back in power. I knew going in with Hulk Hogan you had to take everything he said with a grain of salt the size of a boulder. Oh I’m gonna show all these guys the art of wrestling and we’re gonna do this and do that…

Buuuuuulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

So far all Hulk Hogan has shown us is if you are a buddy of his he can get you a gig. The Nasty Boys are back on television and in a high profile feud. Bubba The Love Sponge became the backstage interviewer (though that might be done with now). I’m honestly surprised Brutus Beefcake hasn’t show up yet to beat Eric Young for the Legends title or something.

Being a buddy of Hogan isn’t all bad though. If Greg The Hammer Valentine and The Faces Of Fear showed up soon I wouldn’t complain.

People also on the Hulkamania tour now find themselves in TNA. Mr. Ke…Anderson is being positioned to be a top heel. Sean Morley despite still doing the Val Venis gimmick is as solid as it gets in the ring and if anyone deserves a good run it’s him. The only one I can’t understand is Orlando Jordan. This guy has never had an upside and TNA is pushing him like he’s this huge star when in reality he’s not. Jordan’s only claim to fame is Chris Benoit demolishing him in less than 30 seconds on two occasions and being a really bad Chief of Staff for JBL. He beats The Pope D'Angelo Dinero who is actually way over and will probably have a huge year for TNA in 2010.

Many TNA fans are having a fit about these guys being in TNA and them “going over”. With the exception of Jordan I don’t see what the problem is. Anderson gets a bad rap just because of his previous injuries and being perceived as sloppy in the ring. No one is perfect in the ring. Miscues do happen so I wouldn’t hold it against him. The former Val Venis seemed to really get some TNA fans in a tizzy when he beat Christopher Daniels at the Genesis PPV.

Now I thought the match was really good so I don’t know what everyone was complaining about. I honestly think some people complain for the sake of complaining.

TNA is a huge work in progress. Right now TNA does not care about work rate or who’s matches rated what. All they care about is ratings and somehow in the mist of all of this confusion TNA’s ratings are actually up and in the end that’s all that counts.

Personally if I were in charge I would stop worrying about whom to bring in next as a huge surprise and start working on promoting the damn product. TNA’s biggest problem always has been the fact that they cannot promote shit. They do all of these BIG matches and no one knows they are on because they don’t announce or promote them ahead of time. I never did understand what the point of throwing away potential big matches on television with out even promoting was. Then again TNA is following the late 90’s WCW model down to the letter. The Impact Girls cannot be far behind at this point.

On the flip side of things where TNA continues to drive a person mad there is at least a glimmer of hope in wrestling and his name is CM Punk.

Punk and his Straight Edge Society has been the best thing on all of television and last week they cranked it up another notch. Punk is doing a pseudo Jesus Christ gimmick and he has been dancing a fine line of blasphemy and it is awesome to watch.

On last Friday’s Smackdown Punk came out with Luke Gallows by his side and he cut another amazing promo running down the crowd for being weak-minded people who need their crutches. All of a sudden this chick dives over the barricade and runs up to him. You have to love the lax security that allowed her to do half a lap around the ring to get to Punk.

After the security came to do their damn job Punk said no let her come to me, I’ll take the responsibility. We find out the girls name is Serena and I guess being she’s supposed to be super hyper ADHD or something so I guess her vice was being on prescriptions that didn’t work. The part that seems to have some people saying a line was crossed was when Punk shaved her head. Matt Striker’s comment that Punk found his Mary Magdalene really put over the whole segment and what he’s doing.

For me personally, I’m a lapse Catholic so I’m not really offended by any of the Christian overtones being done with this whole thing. It’s like I said, he’s dancing a fine line on blasphemy right now. My father or as he’s known to my long time readers as Phantom Classic thought they did cross all kinds of lines and found it offensive. There’s just something about shaving a woman’s head that seems to be in bad taste for some. I did ask him if this were the old days would someone try to shoot Punk and he said of course.

That right there says you are doing your job right. If you are a heel and someone tries to take a shot at you then you are doing something right. I hope they continue ratcheting up the level of stuff they are doing right now. Rumor has it this is all leading to a Rey Mysterio/Punk match Wrestlemania where it will be Mask vs. Hair. A lot can change between now and then, but who ever defeats Punk and shaves his head will get nuclear babyface heat. Punk then crying about being a Straight Edge martyr would also be great stuff. It could in theory even go longer then that so I really hope things continue the way they are going and poor Serena Deeb didn’t get her head shaved for nothing.

Apparently she is a pretty good wrestler and she had been in OVW for the longest of times before going to FCW. She had been doing some sort of mobster’s daughter gimmick under the name of Mia Mancini. It probably could have been adopted into some sort of Jersey Shore thing but Vince won’t get around to seeing that until sometime in the next decade. If Serena can win the Women’s championship from The Undertaker’s old lady I will be very happy. I’ll be very happy if ANYONE wins it from her. This whole Piggie James thing will be for nothing if no one steps up to the plate and knocks her off her perch.

If it were anyone else other then McCool odds are she would be the most hated woman in wrestling. But McCool has this quality about her that comes off as X-Pac heat. So I can’t wait till this whole Piggie James thing is over. Who ever beat’s her will be heralded as the savior of women’s wrestling in the WWE.

The only other thing I am waiting for in the WWE is to see where the hell the angle with Bret Hart and Vince McMahon is going. I really hope they just go all out with it because as I said in my previous column, closure on Montreal would be so great for everyone. As an added bonus once there is closure then NO ONE CAN EVER DO IT AGAIN.

YOU HEAR ME TNA…ONCE BRET BEATS VINCE THAT’S IT. NO MORE SCREW JOBS…WRESTLING’S DARK CHAPTER IS FINALLY CLOSED.

As you can tell I hate the Montreal Screw job and any time it’s rehashed.

Bret locking Vince in the sharpshooter and Vince screaming and begging for mercy…why that’s almost worth the obscene amount of $54.95 they will be charging.

Well on that note I am done for this week. The Royal Rumble is next week but I doubt anyone has noticed with the shoddy build up they’ve done for it. And the price for the PPV is up to $44.95. See this is the reason why PPV buyrates are down. It’s because they cost to damn much. It’s laughable that TNA charges $34.95 and the WWE jacked up the prices simply because they didn’t want to look weak compared to the UFC…BUT THEY AREN’T COMPETING WITH THEM. NOPE, THERE’S NO COMPETITION HERE AT ALL.

So until next time I’ll be counting down the days till Cheech & Chong host RAW. That my friends will be awesome. Tommy Chong is the man and don’t ever let anyone say otherwise.

Take care, and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback in my Live Journal at phantomlord-lop.livejournal.com