The Rant Of The Week: Nexus & Santinomania

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is my Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from the urban hellhole that is Brooklyn, New York and have I ever mentioned how much I hate New York weather sometimes? Don’t get me wrong because I love this city, but the weather we get is so damn wacky. First off since we are right off the water we get all the lovely wind that is associated with it. If you have a cold that just won’t go away, a stiff twenty mph wind just won’t help matters. Ah well despite mother nature’s best efforts, I am here and there is plenty of news and opinion to get to.

Hmm if my calculations are correct, this column is apparently my eighty-eighth since going into syndication. Over five years in and I haven’t even broken the century mark yet. In reality if I go back to when I first started writing columns regularly back in 2001, I believe the number would have to be somewhere around 250 columns. I have most of them buried on my external hard drive. Maybe someday I’ll put them all in a proper archive of some sort. Books seem to be all the rage for some wrestling types.

Would anyone even buy a copy of the “mostly” complete Phantom Lord Rant’s? Who knows, in another fifteen years that might be an interesting look at Pro wrestling in the twenty first century. Of course that is under the assumption that one I make it another fifteen years and in those fifteen years I haven’t finally gone off the deep end and stopped writing all together. Well on that note let us start with this week’s rant.

Sad news to report to start things off as the oldest living former NWA World Heavyweight Champion Édouard Carpentier passed away two weeks ago. There is plenty of controversy over his win against Lou Thesz, but in the NWA back then that sort of stuff was normal. Wrestling from the 1950’s is a by gone era. It was a time when little old lady’s with the big hats and equally big hat pins (for stabbing bad guys with) would sit front row center and smack the bad guy with their purse that just happened to have a brick in it. My Aunt Elizabeth’s mother from what I have been told was one of those little old ladies. Pro wrestling needs more little old ladies wielding purses and hat pins at people.

For those of us who did not know much about Carpentier, Slam Wrestling has a really good obituary on the life and career of Carpentier on their website.

http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Wrestling/2010/11/01/15909511.html

In the Wrestling Observer, Dave Meltzer posted the following in his obit that I saw posted on a board I go to. It’s so awesome I just had to share it with you.

Carpentier was also involved in another of the most famous matches of the era, the famed “riot at the Garden,” on November 19, 1957, teaming with Rocca against Dick the Bruiser & Dr. Jerry Graham. Rocca and Graham got out of control as both bled, which whipped the crowd into a frenzy. Hundreds of fans charged the ring, chairs were broken and fruit and other food items were thrown. There were a dozen brawls, with Bruiser, who never met a street fight he didn’t like, as the major target. As fans went after him, Bruiser was described in newspaper reports as picking them up as they charged him and throwing them out of the ring, like a farmer digging potatoes. Rocca and Graham stopped their brawl to admire Bruiser’s handiwork with the rioting fans. Graham started helping Bruiser in cleaning the ring of fans. Police arrived along with more than 100 ushers who were working the show, trying to calm the crowd down. It was Rocca who calmed down the riot when he started speaking in Spanish asking the fans to stop, saying that if they would just get out of his way and stop rioting, he vowed he would take care of Graham and Bruiser. There were 300 chairs destroyed, two policeman injured, a number of fans hurt and three fans arrested.

Maybe this was just more of the awesomeness that was Dick The Bruiser and just the kind of hatred that was being generated, but damn that is an amazing story. This was at the old Madison Square Garden. See this is the kind of stuff that Pro wrestling needs. We don’t need convoluted shoot angles where someone screws over someone. All you need is a good riot once in a while.

With Carpentier’s passing, another from a long gone era is in the great arena in the sky. Unlike today where you can find just about anything on Youtube, very little from the 1950’s is around aside from clips. The WWE probably has a lot of these clips just sitting in the vault collecting dust. Just like any kind of history, there really needs to be an effort made to protect and preserve any surviving footage for future generations. Pro Wrestling in the 1950’s was not glamorous. But everything that is done today was started back in those seedy smoke filled halls. I know many in the WWE and probably TNA would love to distance themselves from the old “rasslin” days, but I think many of us would rather see things return to those simpler times. With the WWE that will never happen, but with TNA if it had some leadership who knew what the hell they were doing it could.

I will get to TNA in a moment because there are just a couple of news bits that are just too good to pass up.

First I have to talk about the continued greatness of Wade Barrett. He is quickly becoming the best bad guy in all of the WWE. He has his smug British charm and he turns that up to eleven as he runs down John Cena. We got the latest turn in the story two weeks on RAW as Barrett made Cena the special referee in his title match against Randy Orton at the Survivor Series. If Barrett wins the title then John Cena gets his freedom. But if Barrett does not win the title, then Cena is FIRED. Of course John Cena is all conflicted because he doesn’t want to sell out his principals and hand Barrett the title. On the other he also doesn’t want to get fired. Yes there’s an obvious logic flaw in this with that if Cena gets fired then obviously he would be a free agent and could just get resigned. But ignoring that little fact this whole angle has been so great. I’m not so convinced it is going to end with Super Cena destroying Wade Barrett. Assuming Cena does the right thing and Barrett wins the WWE title, the WWE would be stupid to have Cena go back to being Super Cena and win back the title at the Royal Rumble.

They have something really special with Wade Barrett and if they were smart they would strike while the iron is hot.

No disrespect to Randy Orton, but Orton as the PG Stone Cold just sucks. Orton was at his peak when he was making the life of Triple H a living hell. That is the sort of stuff he should be doing. Sure the crowds would still cheer for him. We American’s love to root for a great sociopath. But Orton seems to have been hand cuffed in some way and everything about him now seems so forced. Wade Barrett on the other hand has a rocket on his back and he is just waiting for the fuse to be lit. There are so many ways the Barrett/Cena angle can play out and all of them are pretty good. I am one of those people who think feuds should last years, not weeks or months. But the fact it’s lasted this long in the WWE is a really good sign. There was this news bit from the Figure Four about Barrett’s future next year.

WWE's creative team has discussed holding a Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett program at some point in 2011. The Nexus spokesman is said to be "super over" with key personnel in the organization and has consequently overtaken the position held by Sheamus earlier this year. They also feel he has surpassed the "Celtic Warrior" in garnering heat from the audience. Also on tap for Barrett is the climax of his feud with John Cena early next year, and a subsequent WrestleMania program with The Undertaker— providing the SmackDown star is healthy.

Barrett and Sheamus, as well Cena and Randy Orton, are considered the focal points of Raw going forward, until Triple H returns and joins the main event mix. Sheamus' current program with John Morrison is considered a placeholder feud until the "King of Kings" returns to action.
Credit to www.f4wonline.com

Honestly I could care less if Triple H ever comes back. Sheamus being the guy that took out the game is better in the long run. Sheamus the guy who got his ass kicked by Triple H does nothing for Sheamus. Yes I know that in the traditional sense, if someone is taken out then they have to come back and get their revenge. But with Triple H there isn’t that kind of sympathy. With Triple H and all that he has done over the years, now that he’s gone he’s not really missed. Triple H is still going to probably be around for the next decade or so as he continues with his mission to beat Ric Flair’s record of sixteen world title reigns. I just don’t want to see Barrett suffer because Triple H needs his annual world title run.

See if Barrett wins the WWE title, what should happen is he holds it for a long time. Maybe longer then JBL did a few years ago. He has Nexus, so Nexus can run interference for him. When they finally have someone who can conquer Nexus and then beat Barrett it will be such a huge moment. Sort of like how it was the night Lex Luger beat Hulk Hogan on Nitro for the WCW Title. Of course WCW fucked that up a week later when Hogan got his precious belt back, but the scene on Nitro is what I like to remember. They can do the same thing here with Nexus and Wade Barrett. The WWE has messed up so many angles over the years. It would be nice if one didn’t end the predictable way we figure it probably will. Until that happens I am not complaining. Barrett continues to rule the world and I couldn’t be happier.

One thing I am not happy about is the continued misuse of Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov. Does the WWE not realize how over Santino is? Vlad is pretty over in his own right, but Santino is easily one of the top five good guys in the entire company. Instead of going with this they continue to make him a joke week after week. Don’t get me wrong; the guy is tremendous with comedy. But it drives me nuts that they book him like a Barry Horowitz of sorts. I don’t know what the deal is with the WWE. Any time they have someone really super over (either by luck or by accident) they always ignore and continue to push others. I like John Morrison, but Morrison as a bland face sucks. Morrison should be paired with Melina so they can be the A-List Assholes that they are so good at being.

Santino and Kozlov have a chemistry that cannot be explained. It shouldn’t work, but it does. The WWE needs to capitalize on this and stop screwing around with Santino. Since he and Vlad are a tag team logic would dictate that they should go after the tag team titles. Having them feud with Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater would be a lot better then The Hart Dynasty having a lovers quarrel every week for no real reason. Two week’s ago on RAW they had Santino come out playing the ultimate chickenshit coward and it was so great. Vlad comes out to fight his battle and he gets one of the biggest laughs of the year with “YOU TALK FUNNY…I MUST CRUSH YOU”. I have been begging the WWE since Kozlov first debuted for them to channel Ivan Drago and it finally happened. Again the WWE needs to strike while the iron is hot. Sheamus will survive being in this feud with Santino and Morrison. After it’s over (I’m assuming in another week or so), Santino and Kozlov should go right into the mix for the tag team titles. They aren’t doing anything else with them so it’s not like it would be that big of a deal.

I mean what could the WWE have in mind for the tag titles that would be better then Nexus vs. Santino and Kozlov? Another gauntlet thrown together at the last minute on a PPV match where random people fight for the title? The last time they did that the crowd was so indifferent you could hear a pin drop, especially when Rhodes and McIntyre won. People just want to root for Santino. Plus the guy despite being a comedy act is actually a very skilled judoka. I know in the WWE, MMA is a dirty word but it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if they at least let someone who has the skills show them off. I’m all for Santino and Kozlov doing comedy. But I would also like to see them not look like jokes week after week.

You know what, after this past week’s Tea Time with Santino & Kozlov, just put Santino in the WWE Title hunt right now. Santino raging against the machine of Nexus and Wade Barrett would be fun stuff. Okay maybe that would be a bit rash of a decision, but damn it Santino is so awesome. Vlad as the straight man for Santino had me rolling with laughter the other night; especially when Santino kept motioning for him to shut up.

See the WWE on rare occasions like this can do comedy. One company that tries to do comedy even though it’s passed off as SERIOUS DRAMA is TNA. God this company really drives me nuts as a viewer and as a fan.

Right now it’s like watching the n.W.O. formation all over again. Immortal is running total rough shot over everyone of interest in the company. In the usual dramatic sense you build tension to hook the viewer in. But here it’s just more of the same old bullshit from the same people from fifteen years ago. Hogan is supposed to be running the show, but he’s so crippled these days if he graces Impact with his presence it’s a rare treat. Immortal wouldn’t be so bad if it were just Flair and Bischoff at the helm with Hardy as the chosen champion. Hogan offers nothing to the deal since the only thing anyone would want to see with him involve him getting his ass kicked. But it appears a light breeze would be enough to shatter his body into a million pieces so I doubt Hogan being even chopped by Samoa Joe or getting the DDE from The Pope will happen anytime soon.

Ultra-Emo heel Jeff Hardy is actually not a bad gimmick. Hardy is channeling some late 90’s Raven (not quite mid 90’s Raven, but better then nothing). Hardy railing on the fans for enabling him and his dare devil lifestyle is actually great stuff. But leave it to TNA to have no fucking idea how to use this correctly. Jeff should just go full out Raven and lead a flock of his own. People blindly cheer for Jeff no matter what. Jeff could give a swanton to Jesus Christ in the ring and people would still cheer for him. I don’t think it’s possible for people to hate Jeff Hardy. Sure people can hate Matt Hardy with no problem, but Jeff doesn’t have the asshole quality on television it takes to get people that pissed off at you.

Of course being forth on the totem pole behind Jarrett, Abyss, and Bischoff in Immortal might have something to do with it. Dude is the World Champion and he’s not even on Hogan’s level in the group.

Speaking of Hardy’s World championship, wow have you seen the new TNA World Championship title belt?



Kids, and you can quote me on this. This belt is a good reason why doing acid and graphic design does not mix.

I know Jeff Hardy is supposed to be out there and all, but after just looking at the proposed sketches of this thing who in TNA thought it would possibly be a good idea? If Hardy paid for this thing by himself more power to him, but for a company that always claims it needs to cut back on spending if they spent money on this I would demand my money back.

Apparently a good friend of Shannon Moore designed the belt. In commissioning this belt they also made a D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F title belt but TNA said nah we won’t use that one on television. Seeing the big brother to the WWE Diva’s championship belt I can only imagine what Moore’s belt looks like.

Then again this is the same company that gave J-Woww from the Jersey Shore $15 grand for what was five minutes of work but some how they claim they can’t afford to give the knockouts a measly little increase in pay. They also just resigned Eric Young to a lesser money per appearance deal (which at first he turned down). Janice Carter (yes the Janice that Abyss’s girl is named after) is doing the books according to some reports and I would love to see a reaction segment where Dixie is pleading with her mom about needing money for something stupid but they just can’t afford to keep another knockout on the payroll.

It’s really a shame because with some simple changes TNA could actually be worth a damn. They would get ratings that aren’t stagnant, they would get PPV buys, and hell they would actually get people to go to their live events.

I could name them all off right now, but I don’t work for free. If TNA wants my list it will cost them. But since it is almost the Holiday season here in America I will give them one for free.

Okay people from TNA who read this column. Take out a piece of paper and get a pen.

I’ll give you a moment.



Ready?

Here we go.


STOP SCREWING AROUND WITH JAY LETHAL.

What is wrong with all of you? You have the ultimate babyface in Jay Lethal and for the last couple of years you have done nothing but dick the poor guy around. Okay I admit it; the whole Black Machismo thing was a fluke. Obviously you never figured it would get over but it did. So now here we are and Lethal is one of the most over guys in the company and he just lost the friggin X Division title to a guy with a giant fist on his ass.

I actually do like Robbie E. and Cookie. But should he be X-Division champion? FUCK NO. The X Division championship is like a cheap whore that gets passed around. Remember when the damn company was built around the title?

TNA stop screwing around with Jay Lethal. When he beat Ric Flair that should have been the step to the next level. Hell he should still be feuding with Ric Flair and Fortune but now he’s back to the bottom of the damn barrel. With Immortal destroying everyone, there needs to be someone who can be the face that people can get behind. Jay Lethal is that person. He has a Ricky Steamboat quality to him where it is impossible to boo against him.

So there you have it. That is my one freebie that I am giving to TNA. In the mean time that is it for this week’s column. I will be honest and tell you that I don’t know when my next column might be. The next few weeks for me are going to be hectic, as finals will be coming up in one month in mid December. It’s funny a year ago I was a ship with out a rutter just going around in circles and here I am about to complete my first term back in school. If you have noticed why I am slightly happier now you know why.

On one sad and final note this past Saturday marked the fifth anniversary of the passing of Eddie Guerrero. It’s a death that many of us as fans have not gotten over and we probably never will. Eddie was just an amazing wrestler and even better person. My thoughts go out to Vickie, Eddie’s children, Chavo, and the rest of the Guerrero family and all of Eddie’s friends in this sad time. But they say to remember all of the good times and just looking on Youtube and watching an old Eddie promo or match brings a smile to my face.

Rest In Peace Eddie.

Well until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

The Rant Of The Week: TNA Are Dumbasses

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is the all mighty Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from the urban slum that is Brooklyn, New York and fall is finally upon us. It’s been rather windy and cool the last few days so it’s nice to have that crisp in the air. Over the last week TNA had Bound For Glory and the Impact with all the post PPV stuff. Yeah you can just imagine what I’m going to be saying about all of that so sit back and get ready because it will be some VINTAGE Phantom Lord fire & brimstone. But before I get to the bad, for my own sanity I will cover the good first. Despite what people might think I am not negative all the time. There’s actually stuff I enjoy.

First off Strikeforce had a really good main event last weekend with Nick Diaz defending the Strikeforce Welterweight title against K.J. Noons. The fight was a great stand up affair as Diaz and Noons just traded punches with each other. Noons it was just revealed had his jaw broken in the first round and his hand fractured in the second. The fight went the full five rounds and it is easily in the top five for 2010. Strikeforce though is TNA to the UFC’s WWE. They have all the talent and a great roster, but as usual the booking always seems to make things fall flat. Promotion also is pretty weak, as I honestly didn’t know there was a Strikeforce event on Showtime until a day or so before. But those things aside Diaz vs. Noons was a damn good fight.

According to MiddleEasy.com there was some good post fight drama as well involving Nick Diaz. If you remember a few months ago there was a HUGE brawl at the Strikeforce Nashville event when Miller got into the cage to trash talk Jake Shields. The Diaz brothers then went after him and all hell broke loose. MMA not understanding that non-MMA purists love scenes like this tried to keep Miller and Nick Diaz away from each other and apparently it didn’t work.

From what I was told, Mayhem was supposed to exit out of the post-fight press conference doors and take a right, while Nick Diaz was going to enter the room in the opposite direction. In short, both fighters would have never crossed paths if this initial plan actually worked, however things sort of 'screwed up'. As Mayhem Miller was walking down the corridor, he abruptly turned around and walked the other way. As the two were approaching each other, things seemed to be somewhat civil. Out of nowhere, Nick Diaz launched a water bottle directly at Mayhem's face -- almost at point-blank range. It hit Mayhem directly in the face, water exploded everywhere and Miller looked stunned. Security got in-between the two and Nick Diaz held his arms up and said 'Come on you fat [expletive]!'. He then tried shoving the security away to get close to Mayhem while screaming 'Let's do it right now!'. Nick Diaz managed to get within swinging distance, and then more security jumped in and held back Nick and finally got him to walk in the opposite direction, towards the post-fight press conference room. This altercation happened outside of the locker rooms. This is not a rumor, it's 100% true.
Credit to www.middleeasy.com/

Man I really hope in the day and age with everyone and their mother having a camera phone there is video of this. If Strikeforce were smart they would sign Miller/Diaz all ready and promote the hell out of it. Build it up as the MMA equivalent of Haggler/Herns or something along those lines. Strikeforce doesn’t have many big money fights. They have one with it right here. They need to pull the trigger on it while the iron is still hot. I know it kills MMA purists when stuff like this happens. But these people need to realize that MMA is exactly what Boxing used to be. All the best Boxing matches were built on someone heeling it up and talking a lot of shit at a press conference coughALIcough. It’s a simple idea that works. You have a guy who the people want to see get beat. Of course if that guy is any good he won’t get beat and eventually you build up to a fight where maybe there is someone who can knock him out.

Since I am majoring in screen writing I understand basic plot points a lot better. All sports have them and Strikeforce if it wants to remain viable needs to exploit that in the future. When it comes to TNA, as a budding writer my head wants to explode. The plot points make no sense what so ever and some how this show. But I will get to that in a little bit and believe me there is a lot to get to.

Before I get to that I have to comment on how much I love John Cena having to go against everything he stands for and be subservient to Wade Barrett. Barrett is so great and to see Cena have to bow before him like Superman did to Zod is tremendous. Of course we all know how it’s going to eventually end when Cena gets that loophole so he can OVERCOME THE ODDS, but until then it’s going to be fun. Nexus has been booked pretty bad since Summerslam. But at least with this there is some hope that things will rebound. I really hope Barrett wins the WWE Championship and runs with it till Wrestlemania…that is if the WWE can overcome their A.D.D. when it comes to angles lasting more then a few weeks. Personally I wish the WWE would just go a bit further with Cena being subservient to Wade Barrett. For starters since he’s a member of Nexus he should dress as one. Barrett should force him to wear the shirt and get rid of that hideous purple shit he wears. I mean the kids will still wear it just because the kids will continue to support him no matter what. But it would be fun to see Cena stripped of his image. The heat Barrett would get probably would be mid 80’s Piper at MSG if done correctly.

Barrett as WWE Champion would be much better then Randy Orton right now. Randy Orton is great, but he is so out of his comfort zone right now as the WWE tries to make him the new Stone Cold. Okay sure Orton has the whole sociopath thing down pat. But there has just been something off with Orton the last few months since this new direction with him began. I don’t think it’s his fault. He’s on RAW so like most guys there he just goes through the motions because that’s all they want. It’s not like they have any competition so there’s no reason to go out all out. Well there’s Monday Night Football and some really good shows on against RAW, but in Vince’s mind while the WWE is apart of Americana…those are not competition. I know it’s crazy but you have to realize Vince is a wee bit out of touch with what’s hip. Yes he probably pays people a lot of money to tell him what’s hip, but as we know he doesn’t really listen to them and he ends up doing what ever he wants anyway. I can’t fault him for that though. If I had a company the size of the WWE I’d do what ever I wanted also. Luckily for us this stuff with Barrett is working right now so at least we can hope there will be a good Orton vs. Nexus feud where John Cena has to continue to serve the Nexus at every turn.

I read somewhere that the working idea for Cena and Barrett is supposed to be like the dynamic with Virgil and The Million Dollar Man. I am all for John Cena being a servant to Wade Barrett for the next five years or so.

Okay that will never happen, but one can dream.

Now what isn’t fun is watching TNA. TNA finally unleashed the latest in their continuing series of “EARTHSHAKING SURPRISES” as Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff turned heel along with Jeff Hardy as he won the TNA World Championship. In minor supporting roles of confusion where Abyss and Jeff Jarrett.

It wasn’t really a surprise since this was seen coming months ago. The moment TNA booked the venue in Daytona it was painfully clear what they were going to do. TNA is booked as a nostalgia company so why not go to the building where the n.w.o. Was formed and hope maybe some of that same magic is still floating around. Well that didn’t happen. What did happen was a very sad sight as Hulk Hogan limped and waddled his way down to the ring with a couple of security guards next to him to hold him up just incase gravity won it’s battle.

Hardy winning the TNA Title was lost in all of this as once again the main event was just the backdrop for the screw job of the moment.

I could have lived with TNA doing this, but on Impact they turned the stupidity up to eleven. First off they had to do a thirty-minute opening segment where Bischoff and Hogan explained in detail every small detail of how they stole TNA away from Dixie Carter. In the real world this would be the opening and closing arguments in the criminal case against them as they admitted to multi million-dollar fraud to get the controlling shares of TNA. Yes, Dixie is a moron because she didn’t read what was in front of her. But the fact still remains in the real world just because she was stupid enough to sign it does not mean it would still stand. But looking past that glaring error in logic and reason, this episode was something else. The show went damn near 76 minutes with out any wrestling what so ever. Yeah around the 45 minute mark there was a women’s match of sorts, but that was such an abortion it didn’t count at all (and I will get to that in a little bit).

This whole episode was like they took old WCW scripts and picked through them for the most insane stuff.

Somehow ratings wise it worked. TNA Impact drew a 1.41 rating (even though the ratings dropped like a rock later). The fact that TNA drew such a high rating for such a bad show means everyone in TNA thinks they have found a winning formula. So obviously this means more of this sort of stuff. This also means I won’t be watching TNA in the future if they keep doing this. I sound like a broken record at this point, but I guess I have to keep repeating myself when it comes to TNA. I remember ordering the early TNA ppv’s and they were everything the WWE wasn’t. Sure there was still plenty of the same kind of bullshit that WCW had but at least you were getting some damn good wrestling thrown in with it. Now it’s all bullshit...Nothing but BULLSHIT.

So we have this group Immortals which is headed by Hogan and Bischoff with Baby Hughie Abyss, Jeff “I know who signs my checks” Jarrett, and Jeff Hardy for the WTF factor. Jeff to his credit actually is pretty good as a heel. He was channeling some mid 90’s Raven during his promo when he said the fans were responsible for his pain. Jeff Hardy as a heel by himself with maybe a small stable of flunkies wouldn’t be so bad. But looking at this group, Jeff as the World Champion is FORTH behind Jarrett and Abyss.

ABYSS IS AHEAD OF THE FUCKING WORLD CHAMPION IN THE TOP STABLE IN THE COMPANY.

It gets better (if that’s even possible). After Hogan and Bischoff did their bit about how they run the company, out comes Fortune. Ric Flair and company get a huge pop from the crowd and they get our hopes up that maybe someone will stand up to Hogan.

Nope. Ric Flair bowed before Hogan and kissed his ring.

Ric Flair and Fortune are now the second string in Immortal. Basically the one group TNA somehow managed to work is now the N.W.O. B Team.

There was a lot more stuff on this episode of Impact but much like most of my childhood I am blocking it out for the benefit of my own sanity.

If you read the spoilers for the October 21st edition of Impact then you can only imagine what my reaction will be to that show. I won’t ruin it for the one or two of you who actually likes to be surprised. But lets just say the word DUMB and ASSESS will be used a lot that night.

Speaking of dumbass moves, TNA managed to destroy the once viable Knockouts division. Every now and then there is a glimmer of hope but in typical TNA fashion they just kill that hope. Ever since TNA ran the likes of Awesome Kong, ODB, and Alyssa Flash out of the company for various reasons the once mighty Knockouts division which was TNA’s only proven draw has become a shell of it’s former self.

I believe this chart of sorts was posted originally on Nodq.com and it explains my point better then I ever could.

Tara started off champion.
April 5, 2010: Angelina Love won the title in the Lockbox Challenge.
April 18, 2010: Madison won the title in a tag match by pinning Tara.
July 11, 2010: Angelina Love won the title by DQ.
July 13, 2010: Madison was awarded the title in a decision reversal.
August 9, 2010: Angelina pinned Madison to win the title.
October 10, 2010: Tara pinned Velvet Sky to win Angelina's title.
October 11, 2010: Tara laid down and let Madison Rayne pin her to win the title.
In the past six months, there has been seven title changes, and the challenger pinned the reigning champion once in a competitive match.

That’s pretty damn amazing even for Russo booking. I really feel sorry for the women of the Knockouts division. They get paid next to nothing and the little television time they get is turned into a joke. I’ve always said the people who run TNA have women issues (ironic since the company is run in theory by a woman) and the way the Knockouts are treated proves it.

Last month there was this bit of news from an interview that Indy darling Sara Del Ray gave and this is what Sarah del Ray had to say about TNA in a recent interview

When asked whether she has had any contact with TNA about joining the Knockouts, she said: “Yeah, they’re not interested.” Later, speaking on whether she was ever told to be more ‘girly’, Del Rey said: “I’m feminine but I’m not super girly. I don’t want to be something I’m not and no one’s really told me that I have to be one way or another.”

She added: “TNA did tell me I need more of what The Beautiful People have and I kind of took that in the sense to be more feminine, but then I thought, ‘Oh, you already have a roster full of that.’
Source: www.divadirt.com



Yeah I can totally see why TNA wouldn’t want someone like her.

Dumbasses.

The Knockouts used to be everything the WWE divas weren’t. Now they might as well be clones of the division. Don’t get me wrong I love The Beautiful People. But centering the whole division around them as faces is just horrible. Evidence of this was the segments they had last week with J Woww of The Jersey Shore. In went over like the proverbial lead balloon. Add to that the fact TNA paid her $15 Thousand…yes THOUSAND (more then all the Knockouts combined make a month) for those segments and it just shows how stupid this company really is. Oh sure it might have gotten TNA some exposure (such as MTV saying she would be appearing with TNA Boxing), but over all it did not a damn thing for the product as a whole.

Plus that little show she’s on IS UP AGAINST IMPACT.

I feel sorry for Mickie James for signing with this company. Okay sure she doesn’t have to deal with Old Lady McCool anymore, but at least the WWE is somewhat competent when it comes to the women.

Don’t jump all over me. I didn’t say they were good, I just said they were somewhat.

The funny thing about Mickie James debut that should have honestly been much bigger then they handled it. In typical TNA fashion instead of hyping the hell out of it they just cut to the back and oh hey look it’s Mickie James. Mickie’s first TNA match was also squandered, as it wasn’t on a PPV or even on an Impact. It was just a random match on Xplosion. Mickie took on Sarita and that just proves my dumbass theory about TNA. I mean that right there is a match a lot of us would want to see. Instead it’s buried on a show THAT DOESN’T EVEN AIR IN THE UNITED STATES.

Oh there’s plenty of time for the mutual admiration society meetings with Hogan and Bischoff or Dixie Carter’s fine acting chops (SERGE…SERGE). But God forbid they give five minutes on Impact for a match that might actually draw in viewers.

I’ll probably continue to watch. I’m a glutton for punishment so I’ll just watch despite the fact I clearly know better. Besides ROH isn’t on regular cable television and there are no local wrestling companies here in New York City that are on television either. So on the off chance I want to see something interesting I’m stuck with TNA for the time being. Besides if they ever got their shit together and put on decent show I would probably have to officially retire writing columns. As long as TNA is the way it is then I’ll have a wealth of material for sometime to come.

On that note I am done for this week. Hopefully I will be back sooner rather then later with my next column. But school is getting pretty busy now and who knows if I’ll have the attention span for it. I will try to be back though as the WWE has another PPV most people won’t be ordering next weekend so depending on how that goes there could be interesting stuff to come out of it.

But until next time, remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

The Rant Of The Week: Bring Back Rasslin Managers

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I, your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is the Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from my above ground bunker in the greatest city in the world, Brooklyn, New York. We dodged the bullet of Hurricane Earl last week as it was too far out to sea to do any damage. I was tempted to go out to Coney Island to get some pics, but all the fun surf was further out on this God forsaken Island of Long. Ah well some storm is bound to have a track that will give it a bee line right for the city and I’ll probably be dumb enough to stand outside during it like I do with driving blizzards to get some pics. But until then we have plenty of rasslin news to get to this week.

Yes I know I am a week late but congratulations go out to Kaval for winning NXT Season 2.


BROOKLYN REPRESENT

I have been a fan of Low Ki’s for years and to see him make it in the WWE after being squandered in TNA is a joy. It’s amazing to think that Daniel Bryan, Kaval, and CM Punk are all in the WWE and in theory will probably be carrying the company in the coming decade. Years ago people used to think “well if any of them go to the WWE, they’ll just get squandered as creative has nothing for them”. Well for the most part we were wrong. Kaval was one of the bright spots of NXT along with LayCool. Kaval is now on Smackdown so at least there’s hope of him having some damn good matches with the likes of Mysterio, Punk, and others.

Now on the flip side of Kaval’s win, I was shocked that Joe Hennig aka Michael McGillicutty did not win. Well he probably did have the competition won up until he opened his mouth. He has just about all the talent of his old man but good lord he cannot talk. See this is the reason why managers are desperately needed once again in wrestling. A manager was a miracle worker for guys who could not string together sentences with out sounding stupid. Now perhaps it could just be that he got a little tongue-tied trying to cut a scripted promo. It happens to the best of us when trying to remember something we had to memorize. But it could also be that Mike is not the talker that Curt was during the prime of his career. Things can change because if you see video of Curt at the start of his career, his promos were a little wooden to say the least. So with a few years of seasoning it’s possible and probable that Mike McGillicutty will be a very good promo guy if studies from the right people. But when it comes to NXT, it’s pretty clear he lost because he couldn’t cut a promo.

With the exception of Percy Watson, Kaval, and Alex Riley, none of the guys on this season really could cut promos. Husky Harris got a pass simply because he’s so sleazy and badass looking. Wrestling needs guys who look like that, but they need managers more then anything else. It drives me nuts when some people take the position that managers can’t draw in wrestling today. Well sure if you just have them stand around and not do much then sure they won’t draw. But if you find someone who really gets on people’s nerves and build it up over time where you want to see the good guy kick the shit out of them then that would be a draw.

I’ve been told that I would probably make a good wrestling manager. I really know how to get on peoples nerves and if you’ve been reading this column for a while now then you know I know how to do that. Only problem is there needs to be a fundamental change in the way wrestling is presented for managers to be viable again. Authority figures and General managers need to go. It was a good run when Mr. McMahon stumbled onto gold with his feud with Austin, but that ship has long sailed and the sooner everyone (the WWE & TNA) realize this the better. If you are lucky enough to have WWE 24/7 then you know what I am talking about. Up until say 1993 the manager carried the load for so many people on the mic. After 93 the manager became less and less visible until they finally just up and disappeared. Occasionally you would still have one like a James Mitchell in WCW/ECW and later in TNA. But for the most part the manager was reduced to a comedy act and it would disappear.

Well we have come to a time where managers are desperately needed once again. It’s a shame that Gary Hart has passed on to the great arena in the sky. Gary Hart forming a new stable of men to make the life of John Cena a living hell would be fun television. TNA sort of has a new stable with Fourtune but they haven’t pulled the trigger as usual. Ric Flair as the new JJ Dillon has infinite possibilities, but it’s TNA so of course they aren’t going full tilt with it.

I like to look back to my childhood when I think of managers. As I’ve mentioned so many times before, John Cena is this generations Hulk Hogan. Now no one can deny Hogan was the biggest draw in wrestling in the 80’s. But can you imagine how things would have been if Hogan didn’t have a never-ending feud with The Heenan Family? To a larger extent would Steve Austin and The Rock been the mega stars they are now if they didn’t have The Corporation and Vince McMahon to feud with? Yes Vince wasn’t a manager per se, but in 1999 he was the closest thing to one. I just can’t imagine things working the way they did back then if they were like they are now.

The WWE sort of has something going with Nexus, but we still have to find out whom the mastermind is. Someone put Nexus up to all of this and clearly is pulling the strings. There are plenty of great talents in that group. But they all could use a manager to do the talking for them. I go back to my original point about McGillicutty and the current crop of wrestlers in the WWE. There are so many guys that have the look and probably the talent but once they start talking they get very boring very quickly. I could be wrong, but odds are I won’t be. The worst part about all of this is you just know some of these guys will be released because “creative had nothing for them”.

Speaking of creative having nothing, NXT Season 3 has started and my God what a glorious train wreck it is. Season 3 of NXT is all Divas and after one episode I am glad my DVR for some mysterious reason is recording the show again. I know I didn’t set it to record. I was happy with taping Covert Affairs in that slot. Apparently in a month NXT will go exclusively on WWE.com since I don’t think there’s a chance any other NBC owned cable network would take the show. It’s probably for the best since Sons Of Anarchy is back on. NXT draws TNA-esq numbers so it’s no real loss if it’s on television or on WWE.com. After one episode it’s clear it will be a horse race between AJ Lee and Naomi. A close third in my view is Maxine. My favorite paring on the show is Goldust and Aksana. I love anything Goldust does and Aksana is perfect for him. If only Goldust were on Smackdown then we would all be happy. Aksana is basically doing Vladimir Kozlov’s original gimmick and I like her all ready. She said Double Double E and she wants to entertainment everyone. She’s going to be my sleeper pick. It’s just a shame Maryse is not on this show. Aksana and Maryse yelling at each other in their respective languages would make for some fun television.

Aside from that this show is going to be horrible. I mean with the exception of AJ Lee, everyone on this show is a model. The WWE trains them just enough so that they don’t kill themselves or the person they are facing in the ring. The Johnny Ace method of skimming through the Victoria Secret catalog has picked some gems for us in the past. But for every Trish Stratus, Maryse, and even Candice Michelle there are Ashley’s, Joy’s, and others whose names I am blanking on right now. Kelly Kelly has come a long way since being that chick that stripped on ECW a few years ago. So I guess there is her to along with Alicia Fox (I believe her and Kelly were both in the same aforementioned Victoria Secret catalog). But aside from them the rest have been duds. I like The Bella Twins though so they get a pass from me.

Some people complain that oh well the WWE should scour the Indies and get some real female wrestlers. I’m going to stop you right there because the WWE has not now nor will they ever give a shit about who is a good female wrestler. Even in these PG times where the women aren’t being paraded around in thongs, that wrestling stuff is not a high priority. If they can find someone like The Undertaker’s Old Lady and Layla who can adapt and actually become somewhat decent in the ring then it’s win for them. Sure it would be nice for us the viewing public if a women’s match didn’t have so many botches, but you have to realize at the most the Women might get five minutes on television and they aren’t being used just because they have a good workrate. It would be nice if that weren’t the case, but unless say a new Wendi Richter comes along for a Cyndi Lauper for this generation that won’t change.

I had a horrible thought about Lady Gaga getting involved in an angle. Thought it would be an amusing thought of the pitch for that one.

: I AM DIGGING THIS BAD ROMANCE SONG. LIVING IN A BAD ROMANCE, I’M LIVING IN A BAD ROMANCE. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S A BAD ROMANCE DAMN IT.

I probably just scared the hell out of a lot of you. I am sorry about that.

Moving along to other news of interest, wasn’t that a great Impact last week. Oh that’s right it wasn’t on last week. Spike felt that a Gangland marathon was a better idea to air then their highest rated non-UFC show. Truth was Impact would have been up against Thursday Night Football with The Saints vs. The Vikings and it would have been SLAUGHTERED against it. The NFL had it’s highest rated season premier game in history so I’m guessing TNA and the people at Spike finally made a smart decision and decided to take the night off.

What they should have done was aired Impact on Saturday night or something. How the hell can you do a PPV the week before (which btw I wasn’t aware there was a PPV until I had seen the previous weeks Impact) and then not air a show at all following it for a week and a half?

This is why TNA is doomed to fail. If this were UFC do you think Dana White would allow for this kind of non-sense to go on? Well I’ve read the spoilers for the next three weeks and I have to just shake my head as usual. TNA is building up to some sort of Live Impact on October 7th that will be the lead in for the Bound For Glory PPV on October 10th. For those of you who don’t wish to be spoiled, I won’t say anything. But you can just imagine it’s more of the same from TNA.

The other night on Twitter in a sign of how things might really be in TNA, Kevin Nash went on a drunken Twitter spree talking about how he’s leaving when his contract is up on October 12th. Basically TNA owes him money for a certain amount of shows and as usual TNA is trying to screw someone out of money that is owed. This is a pattern when it comes to TNA. They’ll burn through peoples contracted dates and we’ll get something like the RVD deal where he was “poked full of holes” by Abyss. I never understood the whole dates thing. If you sign someone for a year then that’s what it should be for. If some how you manage to burn through the dates and the guy is say your world champion then suck it up and cough up the extra cash. A clueless idiot in Bob Carter funds TNA. He seems to buy anything his equally clueless daughter tells him and the stockholders of Panda Energy. I’m sure if they worded it right and said they needed some extra cash to keep the World Champion around till a certain time he would okay it no problem. God knows they have given far more money to others to do less.

Speaking of money, it’s painfully clear that Hulk Hogan is hard up for it. Now I know I said I wouldn’t spoil on the Impacts but this one needs mentioning. At Bound For Glory it will be announced in a couple of weeks that Sting, Kevin Nash, & The Pope will take on Samoa Joe, Jeff Jarrett, and Hulk Hogan at Bound For Glory. I won’t explain why The Pope is in this match (mostly cause it makes no sense, but this is TNA). Kevin Nash and Sting are two of my favorite wrestlers of all time. I still love anything they do. But this whole angle they have been part of with Jarrett and “TNA Management” makes no friggin sense what so ever.

It’s so hilarious when Jarrett and Hogan call out Sting and Nash about not wanting to give up the spotlight.

Pot & Kettle meet Mr. Black.

First off if Jarrett had any power he would be TNA Champion right now. Secondly if Hogan had any mobility he would have beaten Jarrett for the title by now. So the basis of this whole angle makes no sense what so ever. It is good though that the fans are solidly behind Nash and Sting, which says a lot about who are the faces in TNA.

Now we have Hulk Hogan who just got out of the hospital for more back problems. He posted some videos on his twitter where he was pretty damn doped up on morphine for those back problems. Hogan apparently can’t even bend over with out flaring up his back and he’s going to wrestle? Now granted with a six man tag means he doesn’t have to do much. God bless Andre The Giant because if you ever saw a match of his in the last couple years of his life in Japan they were mostly six man’s where he only really got involved at the end. His back and whole body was beyond FUBAR but the money was still good for him and he suffered through it. I don’t see why Hogan is doing that because it can’t possibly be worth the money.

I mean it’s TNA so how much money could he be making? If he were doing this in Japan I can understand because he’s still probably a draw over there, but here not so much. If it were me I wouldn’t even bother with it. It’s not worth being in a wheel chair in your later years. But since this PPV is in Daytona in the same exact building where the N.W.O. formed you better believe there is a swerve coming. Odds are Hogan will turn heel and join “The Band”. Nash says he’s leaving a couple days later so I’m guessing what ever will happen will involve Hogan, Sting, and Samoa Joe. What that will be…well your guess is as good as mine. Who the hell knows where any of this is going. All I do know is Hogan has no business being anywhere near a ring and if his back is truly as messed up is it’s reported to be there’s a good chance Hogan will be leaving the building on a stretcher.

Knowing TNA they will have something “happen” to Hulk during the PPV so he can’t make the match.

Of course this could all be a ploy by Hulk Hogan to get himself the role in the eventual direct to dvd cheap sequel of The Wrestler. Hogan said he was offered the role of Randy The Ram so maybe he’s doing a long audition. Couldn’t be any worse then any of Kurt Angle’s recent movies.

On a lighter note, the latest attempt at WWE Studio’s to make John Cena an “actor” fell flat as Legendary grossed a little under $140k on 175 screens. Of course I am sure the WWE will pull a very obscure movie ranking out come this Monday to say how the movie was number 1 at the box office. Truth is limited release is code for “it’s not going to make money this way”. Sometimes a limited release works in favor for a movie, but not this one. I think the main problem with the movie is no one can buy John Cena as a wrestler. No not a Pro Wrestler but a real Greco Roman wrestler. I’m sure the movie will do well enough with on demand PPV and DVD rentals, but the WWE has to be kidding it self if they think they can put out drama’s.

The WWE probably can do buddy comedies with no problem what so ever. But they should steer far away from dramas. Randy Orton is supposed to be in some sort of drama at some point. Edge has one coming out next year as well. Hopefully this little WWE Studio’s experiment fades away much like the first go round with McMahon and Hogan did in the early 90’s.

You know I’m surprised they haven’t remade No Holds Barred yet. That movie just screams John Cena.

Speaking of drama, it appears there might be some with Matt Hardy brewing as he was apparently sent home from the European tour. The reports have it as the WWE being concerned about his condition. What that condition is I don’t know. He’s been posting some erratic messages on his twitter account. But as we know wrestlers just love to have fun with everyone so they could all just be an elaborate work for the amusement of himself and some others. The last one he posted was him letting everyone know he was uploading a video that he just recorded in England. Perhaps Matt is trying just a little too hard to get wished well in his future endeavors. There are easier ways to get fired if one wants to do that.

In a tweet about a week or so ago he posted a comment to Shane Helms about how he has 13 months left on his current deal with the WWE. It’s a pretty safe bet that the only reason Matt Hardy is still in the WWE is because the WWE clearly fears an OMEGA reunion. I mean if he went to TNA in the future it wouldn’t matter much.

Seriously though he has overcome a lot in the last year with his body. He has a really nasty torn abdominal muscle that caused a problem with his intestines that almost killed him. Some say that’s the problem with wrestlers who would rather tough it out then get something treated before it becomes a major problem. Matt gets a lot of grief from people but he’s by far still one of the most over guys on Smackdown and it’s the WWE’s own fault if he’s so pissed that he’s thinking of ways to get himself fired. I hope that’s not the case. I mean it’s so much easier to just sit around and wait for creative to tell you they have nothing for you.

Before I go I want to send out my thoughts and prayers to the family and friends of Mike Shaw who passed away at the age of 53 over the weekend. Shaw was best known to my generation as Norman The Lunatic in WCW and Bastion Booger in the WWF in the early 90’s. He made his real mark in wrestling up in Calgary in Stampede Wrestling as Makhan Singh where he had a long running feud with Owen Hart. Honestly as a kid, Bastion Booger grossed me out. He was so disgusting to look at especially when he would eat in mid match. One infamous match I remember was him on Team Bam Bam vs. The Doink’s at Survivor Series 93. He and The Wild Samoan’s were eating a whole turkey and it was just a mess. But God bless him because he made the most of it. Well I hope he is at peace now. When someone passes away that’s all you can really ask.

So on that note I am done for this week. Hopefully I’ll be back soon but who knows how my writing mood will be with school. But until next time, remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

The Rant Of The Week: Morons Of Wrestling

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is The Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from the greatest city on the face of the earth…Brooklyn, New York and the heat is still going strong here in the now oven baked Apple. This is my second attempt at writing this column because I had one about half done last week and then my writers block kicked in and I lost all interest in finishing it. It’s not that there wasn’t plenty of stuff to go on about. Sometimes I just lose all interest and by the time it finally passes it’s almost a week later and I find myself with dated material.

In some news about myself which probably will effect my output as a lowly wrestling columnist, I have decided to go back to school and financial aid aside I should be starting next week on the 26th. Back in the early days of this column I was able to still keep posting on a regular basis. So perhaps with all the added stimuli of having to think again I might be able to churn out columns like I used to. But if I should suddenly disappear then you know it’s because of school and not because I finally went off the deep end. For those wondering I am going to be majoring in Film-Screen Writing. I’ll be happy if in a few years I’ll have a couple of quirky comedies under my belt. Of course I’d be equally as happy with SyFy movies. Money is money and that’s all that matters in this economy.

Well enough about me, it’s time to get this thing started. Sadly we start off on a sad note as last weekend Lance Cade passed away at the age of 29. It’s been reported that Cade died from heart failure. Heart failure at 29 is pretty rare so I would imagine all the necessary tests are being run. The WWE in their typical cold and callous nature put out a statement where they expressed their thoughts to the family but made sure to note he wasn’t under contract to them when he died.

Linda McMahon also put out a statement in an interview that just baffles the mind.

Linda McMahon has spoken out about the death of Lance Cade, saying that the WWE should not be blamed for it. The Connecticut Post reports that Linda said the WWE should no more be held accountable for the deaths of performers "than a studio could have prevented Heath Ledger's death."

"Who knows what causes people to have addictions and do what they do," McMahon added. She also went on to say that the press only want to talk about WWE, while people she meets want to discuss job creation and the economy.

First off as a Republican, Connecticut what the hell is wrong with you. Falling for Linda McMahon and her “I’m for the little guy” crap. How many little wrestling companies has the WWE put out of business in the last 25 years? Hell they still do it when they raid companies and sign their top guys to developmental deals. Now do not get me wrong, I am a capitalist through and through. But anyone with half a brain knows how full of shit Linda’s campaign message is. Then again considering whom she is running against it’s like that episode of South Park with the school mascot election.

Now having got that out of my system, what the hell is wrong with her? Saying the WWE is no more responsible for the deaths of performers (they just can’t say wrestler) then a studio could have prevented Heath Ledger’s death has to be one of the most idiotic things I have ever read in politics. The fact remains that there is an epidemic of guys who worked for the WWE in the last 25 years that all have died before the age of 50. Most of them were before 40, but 50 is a more realistic number to round things off at. The WWE made billions off the bodies of these people and when they are of no more use to them they “wish them well in their future endeavors”. Granted it’s the corporate policy of just about any major company to wash their hands of someone when death is involved but how cold can you be?

I sincerely hope that Lance Cade is in a better place right now. But Linda McMahon owes an apology to Lance’s wife, children, and family for those comments.

Painkiller addiction is so prevalent in wrestling because of the wear and tear on the body. There is a reason Oxycodone is called Redneck Heroin. It’s very easy to get hooked on the stuff and damn near impossible to kick it. The WWE has a schedule that would break down even the most physically of fit people. Sure they have the “wellness program” but everyone knows there are ways around even the most stringent of drug testing.

In the report about Cade’s death it was said he wasn’t looking well in the days before his death.

Cade's wife Tanya noticed that he was having trouble breathing and didn't seem healthy. On Tuesday night, he was rushed to the hospital where he passed out at one point but was then revived. He was released from the hospital the next day. On Thursday, Cade's father Harley noticed that he didn't look good. Harley brought Lance to a family home in San Antonio, TX where Lance died during the night.
Credit to www.f4wonline.com

At the very least I think Cade’s family might have a good case for medical malpractice. Clearly he should have not been released from the hospital when he was. But that’s more about hospitals and insurance companies wanting to get people in and out as quick as possible to hold down costs here in the states. Either way based on what’s been said, it’s probably possible that Lance’s death could have been prevented. Vince and company will shake off any talk that there is a need for more time off for wrestlers or regulation. The wrestling mentality always has been if you can’t go there will always be someone else ready and waiting to go in your spot. Sadly his will not be the last death of wrestlers in this generation.

I could probably continue to write about this subject but honestly it angries up the blood when I do. All the WWE cares about is if someone dies they don’t die on their watch. It’s as simple as that. That’s all the wellness program is there for.

If you want more reading on this subject and many others (after you finish reading this column of course) I suggest you check out Irv Muchnick’s blog called Wrestling Babylon. http://wrestlingbabylon.wordpress.com/

Irv wrote a really good book called Wrestling Babylon and he has another book that I have to read called “Chris & Nancy: The True Story of the Benoit Murder-Suicide and Pro Wrestling’s Cocktail of Death”. Irv does a lot of in depth research onto these subjects and he is reporting what Dave Meltzer did in the latest Wrestling Observer that Lance’s suffered from Chronic Traumatic Encephelopathy. The same brain disease that Chris Benoit and Chris Kanyon both had which is caused by repeated blows to the head. So if you want to read a lot more on the subject I highly suggest going to Irv’s blog.

Moving along to other news, Summerslam was the other day and depending on whom you ask it was either a decent PPV or an uneventful one. The big surprise of the night was the return of Daniel Bryan to the WWE as he joined Team WWE. Most people figured Daniel would be back after the 90-day clause was up so it was a welcome surprise. The Miz ended up getting Bryan eliminated from the match but at least he looked great as he tore apart Heath Slater. The WWE is really building up the eventual Miz/Bryan title match for the US championship, which will probably be at Night Of Champions in a couple of weeks. The Miz is riding high as the Money In The Bank winner as he continues to try and cash in at a moments notice. So far he’s been thwarted at every attempt to cash in and I figure one of two things will happen in the Bryan/Miz feud.

Daniel will ether beat the bejesus out of The Miz and win the United States Championship or he will beat the bejesus out of The Miz and cost him his MITB match. Either one will put Daniel over huge and kick this feud into high gear. Either one of those options wouldn’t hurt The Miz at all as he continues to be on a roll. I remember at this time last year a lot of us on the net thought The Miz was doomed when John Cena wiped the floor with him on a PPV. But here we are a year later and The Miz is easily the top heel on RAW right now. There is a very good chance that The Miz could headline Wrestlemania with in the next two to three years. It’s been reported that WWE management is very high on him (what ever high means) mainly because of the way he handles himself outside of the ring. The Miz much like John Cena is a media machine for the WWE and that is a good thing. He was doing the comic con circuit, appearing on shows left and right for interviews. The Miz is probably the best United States Champion the WWE has ever had. Yes granted the title belt is just a prop as him being champion has fallen on the back burner while he goes around as the MITB winner.

Daniel Bryan is really in the best spot possible right now working with The Miz. If anyone else were his pro I don’t think all of this would have worked the way it has. Between Michael Cole riding The Miz’s dick like he’s the greatest thing ever and The Miz just being such an incredible asshole, how can you not root for Bryan to make The Miz tap? The only thing is in the good old days (the 80’s) this would have been something built for a few more months. The Miz would do everything to duck Daniel until he was finally forced into a match. But now since everything is so sped up, a return angle for Daniel that should run to the end of the year will probably be over by the end of next month. That’s my only real complaint with wrestling these days. Everything is over before it can really get started.

One thing floundering is Women’s Wrestling in the WWE and TNA. Now despite the awesomeness of Layla and the current Mrs. Undertaker Michelle McCool as LayCool, the WWE especially has been lacking with any real talent since Beth Phoenix is out for another month or so (or longer…who knows with wrestling) with a knee injury. When Kelly Kelly is your top babyface (and God bless her because she sure does try) you know your talent pool is stretched thin.

Last week they had a try out clinic down in FCW and reading this paragraph really got me pissed off and reminded me how much of a douchebag Johnny Ace really is.

The company reaction was that of the 63 people who tried out at the clinic, paying $1,000 to be seen, that approximately 50 of them had no business being there. In particular, AAA Women’s Champion Sexy Star received harsh reviews as company officials felt her work was terrible, her English was terrible and that she was overweight. They also felt she wasn’t pretty looking without her mask on. John Laurinaitis told those in FCW that when it comes to hiring female talent, the standard is if they aren’t pretty enough to appear in Playboy, then they shouldn’t be hired.
Credit to www.f4wonline.com

Ah Johnny Ace you really are a scumbag. John Laurinaitis only has his position of power now because he got really lucky in Japan about fifteen years ago. For years people have been ripping on this former Dynamic Dude for how much of a douchebag he is and well after reading that I don’t doubt it for a second. To give you an idea of just how inept Johnny Ace is, I was looking for some outside opinion and came across this gem on the Wrestlecrap.com Message board from the IWC’s Favorite Sean…Sean Careless of TheWrestlingFan.com

He's generally hated because unlike the ostensibly endless slew of wrestlers released during his run, he is seemingly bullet-proof and above any and all ramification -- despite his complete incompetency at his job. And he was a mid-carder in Japan. Let’s not overplay the dude. He was the Attitude-era Billy Gunn of the Orient. Any money he did draw was in a tag team where his partners were significantly more over than he. He does have a good mind for ring psychology and finishes, though. But as a judge of talent? Come on. He couldn’t get his own ass over in the U.S. to save his life, and now he’s axing people who had just as much to offer (if not more) as he did? Playing politics is the dude’s true legacy. The business will be much better off when WWE finally realizes that every money drawing star of the last 15 years was not hired by Johnny Ace, and subsequently fire his ass.

I removed a line about the alleged rumors about him and Mrs. Baba. Most things are taken as fact on the Internet, but just because it’s on the Internet doesn’t mean it’s true. But I couldn’t have said it any better myself. The Billy Gunn of the Orient is so funny and true because it describes him perfectly. How the hell else was Johnny Ace in tag matches with Stan Hansen and Dr. Death against the likes of Misawa, Kawada, and others. The “they should look like Playboy models” line is hilarious considering the fact the WWE doesn’t do anything with Playboy anymore. PG era be damned because I would actually buy a copy of Playboy if Gail Kim or Melina (or why not both) were in it.

Personally I think it was horrible how they described Sexy Star. They are trying to tap into the Mexican market and she is by far one of the biggest female rudo’s in the country. Who are they to pass judgment on the talent level of a woman wrestling when the WWE’s mantra for the last years has been hire models and train them just enough so that they don’t cripple or kill themselves or the woman they are facing. Fit Finlay who has worked with the Women for years should be nominated for Sainthood for the miracles he’s performed in that regard.

Sexy Star along with Las Gringas Locos are the top female rudo’s in Triple A and they are in the mist of a long feud with Fabi &Mari Apache & Cynthia Moreno as part of the big Foreign Legion angle Konnan is doing. Lucha Libre’s wrestling style is far different then the “sports entertainment” style of the WWE. Sure I wouldn’t doubt that Sexy Star compared to Gail Kim is horrible. But as we know they don’t hire women for wrestling talent anyway. It’s still all about looks but if they can do that wrestling stuff (like Gail, Melina, Jillian, Beth) then that’s just an added bonus. Occasionally you find a gem like Layla who went from just being that diva search winner chick who did dancing during beer runs and piss breaks to someone who is actually pretty good in the ring.

There are so many great women’s wrestlers that people would love to see in the WWE. Wrestlers like Cheerleader Melissa, Amazing Kong, Sara Del Ray, MsChif, Allison Danger, and many others. But sadly none of these women would get a second look because they don’t have the WWE mold look.

These same women would also be great in TNA but just as idiots run the WWE, The same can be said of TNA. TNA had the best women’s division on television with the Knockouts. But slowly and surely one by one they destroyed it piece by piece. First Gail Kim. Then Awesome Kong. Then ODB and Alyssa Flash (Cheerleader Melissa). They have a few good wrestlers still in the division. Ayako Hamada is one, but they don’t use her too much because she makes a STAGGERING $850 per appearance. To say TNA is cheap with the women would be an understatement. It’s a well-known fact that most of the women in the Knockouts division make next to nothing. Even with all that the Knockouts still manage to draw some of the highest rated segments on Impact and I think it just kills Russo, Bischoff, and others in TNA that the women outdraw all the chosen ones.

They do everything they can to water down the Knockouts. Sometimes giving them a measly three minutes on Impact (and this includes Introductions and promos). There is one small glimmer of hope as Angelina Love and Velvet Sky are back together. Honestly that’s when The Knockouts division went to hell is when that visa issue with Angelina came up and they released her. It’s been snowballing downhill ever since then. But Angelina is HORRIBLE as a face. Sudden heel turns for no real reason are a hallmark of Russo booking. Turn Angelina heel so the original Beautiful People can go back to being the super bitches we all know and love.

Of course I doubt that will happen since Angelina is a five time Knockouts champion and a couple of her reigns came from winning the title in dusty finish (which she ended up having to give it back to Madison so I guess it didn’t count to begin with) and my personal favorite…winning it by opening the right box.

I honestly don’t know what the hell they are doing with the Knockouts. All I know is Daffney continues to not be used and that’s a crime against humanity.

But it’s no wonder the Knockouts have been driven into the ground. The same people who did that thought this was a good idea as well.



From the end of The Whole F’N Show event two weeks ago where Abyss finally got to “use” Janice and he was supposed to have attacked RVD with it. Because of this RVD had to vacate the title because “he may never wrestle again”. Uncle Eric told us on Impact last week that RVD had 117 stitches from his neck down to his ankle, punctured organs, and possible head trauma.

In reality RVD only had a certain amount of dates on his contract and he’s done most of them. So instead of Abyss winning the title from him they chose to make it look like a murder scene out of a horror movie. We could have lived with Baby Hughie as TNA World Champion. But now there’s a tournament that’s all ready half over that’s supposed to last until Bound For Glory in October.

As it stands right now you have Kurt Angle, Mr. Anderson, Jeff Hardy, and D’Angelo Dinero. A tournament that could have eaten up a month with qualifies and then the quarterfinals were done unannounced in one night. The Semi-finals will probably be set during the Impact tapings this week and then it will be a month of the usual TNA bullshit before the eventual Title match, which I guess, would be between Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson. Kurt’s doing a thing where if he loses then he’s done with wrestling so of course he’s going to finals. TNA had Jay Lethal in the tournament but he lost to Mr. Anderson and that right there shows TNA’s stupidity.

Wrestling has always been about rooting for the underdog and after beating Ric Flair on PPV, Jay has lost every match since then. This is the SECOND time they’ve done this to Jay Lethal. He was on fire after the big angle with Team 3D and they almost had a chance for a new Randy Savage and Ms. Elizabeth with him and So Cal Val and they fucking ruined that. Jay has come a far way from being a comedy act and people want to root for him and TNA fucks is up every time with him.

I wonder why they do that and all I have to do is look up a couple paragraphs at the picture and realize that’s why. Its no wonder Paul Heyman said TNA isn’t ready for him. It’s really run by a bunch of morons who don’t know what the hell they want to do. I can only hope if Tommy Dreamer is getting some booking sway he at least can steer them into some sort of direction rather then the current lets throw something at a wall and see if it sticks strategy.

I’m sure between now and the next time I post a column TNA will do some more stupid shit that will make me want to drink. It’s a good thing for TNA my bottle of Scotch disappeared because the last thing they want is me doing these columns while hammered.

On that note I am done for this week. I can always count on TNA no matter what time of the day to piss me off and get my blood pressure to rise. Hopefully I will be back in a timely manner but since I am going back to school for the first time in about five and a half years I might just be a tad more burned out then usual. But fear not I’ll still be calling it just as I see it no matter what.

So until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

The Rant Of The Week: Total Desperation

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is the all mighty Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from my above ground bunker in the rotten apple that is Brooklyn, New York. I must say the heat seems to be getting worse this summer if that is all possible. To make things even more fun, Mother Nature is screwing with the New York City area. There have been many big thunderstorms over the last couple of weeks and 95% of them some how managed to miss the city all together. But I am making the most of what I have to keep cool. I do my part for the city’s way over burdened electrical grid and I keep my AC off during the day.

Now you might be asking yourself what the heck does any of this have to do with what’s going on in the WWE or TNA? Well nothing really. This is my column and I just like to blow off some steam in the opening tirade. Besides with the headache that is TNA it’s best I release my built up anger in small doses rather then go thermonuclear all at once. Though there is a good chance that might happen especially with this “ECW but we can’t call it ECW” invasion they are doing.

But before I get to that there is some other stuff of interest going on in the world of wrestling.

In an interview with the San Diego Union-Tribune, former wrestling champion Bill Goldberg said he wants one final wrestling match because he wants his family to see him wrestle live. "If the money was right, I'd go out there and do it in two seconds," Goldberg said. "I'd have to be totally prepared for it, because I wouldn't want to tarnish my image, but I'd like to be in the ring one more time so that my wife and my son can see me wrestle live." He also discussed his love/hate relationship with the wrestling industry in the interview. "I don't ever want to say that I miss anything about the wrestling business," Goldberg said. "I miss the ability to put a smile on a kid's face, more than one at a time. That was a true charge for me."
Credit to NoDQ for posting this

I have to admit that I did laugh when I read, “I don’t want to tarnish my image”. What image would that exactly be Bill? The one where you were so sloppy in the ring that you destroyed the career of Bret Hart in an instant? Well at least he isn’t bullshitting anyone when he says he’d only do it for the money. To be honest I’d love to see Goldberg come back and spear some people but I doubt it will ever happen. McMahon probably wouldn’t give Goldberg the absurd amount of money he thinks he’s worth. And TNA couldn’t afford what Goldberg thinks he’s worth. Some Japanese promotion probably would shell out a close to seven figure deal for him though so if Goldberg ever wrestled again odds are it would be in Japan before anywhere else in the world.

Maybe Bill should finally try his hand at MMA. Who wouldn’t love to see Goldberg vs. Batista? He could easily get a shit load of money from Strikeforce for that train wreck. It would be way better then the possible Batista/Lashley match in the future if Batista takes the MMA plunge. Though part of me wants to see Goldberg vs. Cena at Wrestlemania. Say it happened next year in Atlanta. The old WCW faithful would boo Cena and his wannabe jarhead act right out of the Georgia Dome if he were facing Goldberg. While a Japanese promotion could easily give Goldberg the money he wants, Goldberg vs. Cena would do an insane buyrate. It would probably be worth the $54.95 to see Goldberg spear the fuck out of Cena and then Jackhammer him. That wouldn’t happen, but it would be fun to see.

Speaking of Cena, there are rumors on the Internet that the WWE might finally be willing to turn him heel. Only instead of him going heel in the way we want him to (i.e. ripping on everyone for turning on him when he went all corporate) it would be him being revealed to be the leader of The Nexus. Now Nexus is doing pretty well for it self right now so I don’t see how Cena being the mastermind behind it all would exactly work.

For Summerslam Cena has put together a team of guys to take on The Nexus. It’s going to be him, Jericho, Edge, Morrison, Truth, Khali, and Bret Hart as the final man on the team. Most people think Ricky Steamboat would have been the final man had he not suffered a burst capillary on his brain (the WWE still refuses to admit it was probably one of the moves he took in the Nexus beating that caused it). I think it’s fairly obvious that they are setting up for a huge swerve in this match where the real Nexus leader will be revealed. Bret Hart makes the most logical sense for him to be the one leading them. Bret held a grudge for all those years. You really didn’t think him beating the piss out of Vince would be the end of it. Of course a lot can happen between now and then. We all know how Vince has his mood swings and what was written in stone ends up getting torn up and they start over from scratch.

Congratulations go out to Bret Hart as he tied the knot for the third time over the weekend as he married a 27-year-old woman by the name of Stephanie Washington of San Francisco. Bret’s had a lot of up’s and down’s over the last decade and he’s come back from every last one of them. So as a life long fan of The Hitman I can only wish the happy couple all the best. What ever happens at Summerslam it should be interesting to see Bret’s involvement in the match since it’s now a 7 on 7 Elimination match. I’m going to guess it will come down to Bret and Cena vs. The Nexus since Cena will no doubt try to over come the odds. I’ll be the happiest person in the world if Bret kicks Cena in the balls and then locks on the Sharpshooter after The Nexus have beaten him silly.

The only other interesting match at the moment that has been announced for Summerslam is Sheamus vs. Randy Orton. Orton has been on FIRE lately as the crowds are going apeshit for him. The RKO was always a cool move, but now it’s really the new Stone Cold Stunner. It can come out of nowhere and when he hits it everyone goes insane. I’m really torn on whom to support in this match because on the one hand Orton is great. But on the other so is Sheamus. I just love it when he calls people FELLA. The X factor in this match is how The Miz will be involved as for the last two weeks he’s been itching to cash in his MITB briefcase only for it to be foiled each time.

If you said a few years ago that The Miz would be a potential WWE Champion I think everyone would have said you are crazy. Now he’s a cashing in moment away from that happening. There was a report that The Miz is in the good graces of those who matter in the WWE because he has been doing everything John Cena did to get where he is now. Basically The Miz makes every corporate appearance he can for the WWE, does a lot of publicity, and kisses the ass of the right people. Hey I’m not going to complain about that because The Miz really is a Goldmine waiting to be tapped so I am glad he is getting this chance to shine. It would be awesome if The Miz cashed at Summerslam but I think it depends on who wins the match. If Sheamus some how beats Orton it’s got to be almost a lock that The Miz will finally cash in and win the title. If he cashes in on Orton he’ll be the first person to lose when cashing in. Either way it should be fun to see what happens.

Over on Smackdown Kane is finally having a long over due run as World Champion. While the whole “who attacked the Undertaker” story is getting a bit silly since it’s obvious Kane is going to say “IT WAS ME” at some point, I’m glad Kane shocked the world and won MITB. Honestly with Kane in that match I figured he would come close but end up losing to Drew McIntyre. It was fun to see him cash in on Rey Mysterio later that night. Kane has been around for so long and he’s always been one of the most reliable guys in the WWE. So to see him finally get a real run as champion is great. Plus Kane is a fighting Libertarian. He was on Freedom Watch with Judge Andrew Napolitano on Fox Business over the weekend. I think it honestly shocks people how intelligent he is. Outside of wrestling, Kane has been blogging under the name of Citizen X for a while. Kane really has come a long way from being that guy with the stupid voice box. I just hope he gets a lengthy title run.

Check out http://www.adventuresofcitizenx.com

Of course Kane’s title run hinges on how long The Undertaker is out of action. When I said the whole who attacked The Undertaker story was silly, I was really referring to the whole “vegetative state” part of it. In the real world the longer one is in a vegetative state the less hope there is for that person to come out of it. It will be amusing if it does come out that Kane did it all along. I’d love to see Matt Striker explain how Kane was the Claus Von Bulow of the WWE. It’s going to be dumb when it happens but it should be at least amusing to watch. Personally I’m holding out hope for The Biker Taker coming back but I doubt he will.

Moving along to TNA, right now they are doing an ECW invasion because apparently the corpse of ECW still had a little bit of blood to be sucked out of it. As a fan watching TNA do an ECW invasion is really maddening to watch. TNA first off is dancing a fine legal line because the WWE owns all the trademarks and copyrights for ECW so TNA can’t even use the name ECW. I’m sure Vince if he wanted he could file a cease and desist the week before the PPV but right now I don’t think they really care enough to do so. TNA really is that person who exists just in the hope they can get the cool persons attention but they never do. So here they are being a full blown nostalgia promotion and don’t get me wrong, I love nostalgia as much as the next person. But like so many classic rock bands who still record great new music I would rather see Tommy Dreamer, Raven, and the others do something new then just take an easy paycheck and rehash something that’s been rehashed all ready.

Apparently Tommy Dreamer is booking this whole thing and I’ll give Tommy some credit. Despite all the bullshit he still cuts some of the best baby face promos. After watching Tommy break down on Impact and do a really good Glenn Beck impersonation, despite all my reservations for why this is such a horrible idea the fan in me was like GO GET EM TOMMY. I can’t explain it but for probably many others and me Tommy has this ability to connect on a personal level with the fans. If you are a fan of his you want to see him overcome the odds. Tommy can take a beating better then anyone else and he can just draw you into the match as you root for him. That’s what wrestling needs. It needs people you can get behind to root for. But this whole ECW thing is just such a bad sign of desperation on TNA’s part. I hope it’s somewhat of a success for TNA because if it is then maybe Tommy can do some more booking on the show. Some people shit on Tommy’s booking abilities based on his stint in OVW. I never saw that stuff but you know what…what TNA is doing now is not working. It hasn’t been working for a long time now. A desperate change is needed and I’d rather see Tommy get a shot then them just stay with what they are doing now.

I know it will never happen and Dixie is as stubborn as Vince McMahon. But one can hope and dream. TNA landing Paul Heyman will probably not happen because Dixie refuses to give Heyman the power to fire people from the last reports on the situation. Now maybe something has changed between then and now, but at the moment it looks like the messiah of extreme won’t be crossing the line.

Hey that was a nice one liner. I do surprise myself sometimes.

Heyman was right in his criticism of TNA in that their biggest problem is not creative but the fact no one knows whom the hell they are. Look at TNA’s buyrates. Allegedly the last few ppv’s have been doing UNDER 10,000 buys. Apparently things are so bad that there isn’t even that many people bothering to stream them for free. I think that should be huge alarm bells that if people can’t even be bothered to basically steal the broadcast that it tells you what the interest level in the product really is.

TNA’s Nielsen ratings are usually between 0.9 and 1.15 give or take. About one and a half million people watch Impact every week. For a network like Spike that’s actually a pretty respectable number. But the problem is TNA gives people no reason what so ever to want to fork over $34.95 for a PPV. They give everything away for free on television and when they do that they don’t even bother hyping it. If the numbers are correct then this means less the 1% of the TNA viewing audience bothers to order a TNA PPV.

Dixie and company must be certifiably insane or perhaps on drugs or both if they think their current business model is a good one. It really is like a broken record because a lot of us on the net have been saying this stuff over and over and over and over and over and BAH GAWD OVER. But the people in charge of TNA are content in continuing to drive the company right into the ground. Sure they do something’s right, but most of it is just so idiotic.

Take for example this “PPV Quality TV Special” planned for the Impact after the Hardcore Justice PPV on August 8th.

According to prowrestling.net, there are plans to tape a special edition of TNA Impact the night after the Hardcore Justice PPV. Essentially, the idea is that it will be a "free PPV" event. The working title is "The Whole Fn' Show" and all the matches will be PPV-quality with no storylines/skits.

You really can’t make this sort of stuff up when it comes to TNA.

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF DOING A PPV IF YOU ARE GOING TO ESSENTIALLY DO ONE FOR FREE A COUPLE OF NIGHTS LATER???

The best part about this mess is this show will be headlined by RVD vs. Abyss in a “Stairway To Janet” match. In case you’ve missed it, over the last month or so Abyss has been carrying around a 2x4 covered in nails that he calls Janet. So far Janet has lost to the ring canvas, the turnbuckles, and a side of beef. It’s basically the old Stairway to Hell match from ECW. I really hate Abyss right now. There was a time when it could be argued he was actually one of the best big men in wrestling. Now he’s a fucking parody of a joke. I really hope Abyss loses this match so he can just go far far FAR away. Abyss being this gigantic psycho retard is just horrible and the whole Janice think makes him look even more stupid if that is even possible.

I just still can’t believe they are doing this show a couple of days after the PPV. Granted it could be a test run for possible Clash Of The Champions shows in the future but like they say, timing is everything and this timing just sucks. The one thing that annoys me about this TNA ECW thing is it is doing NOTHING to build up people in TNA. The good thing about ECW was you would always get a couple of show case matches on the card. Where the hell is that for this show? Why isn’t Samoa Joe who is clearly the new Taz on this show? Why isn’t Homicide who clearly would be the new New Jack on it? If Sabu were on the show I’d love to see him take on Jeff Hardy. I’m glad some of the old ECW guys are getting a much-needed paycheck but Jesus you could easily do some ECW/TNA matches here.

See it’s stuff like this I’m sure they didn’t even think about. Well I’m sure they thought about it but someone probably said it wouldn’t work so they said the hell with it.

Dixie seriously. What ever Paul Heyman wants I can do it for half the price and I can do it a hell of a lot quicker. TNA has my contact information buried somewhere so I’m just putting it out there in case this doesn’t work.

There is a lot of stuff I am not covering simply because it hasn’t aired yet. I really wish TNA would move to doing shows live on Thursday nights. I know a lot of people probably base their decision to watch TNA solely on how the spoilers look.

Well the wrestling fan part of my brain is willing to give all of this a chance. But the cynical jilted part of it is realistic and odds are this might be a disaster. The only match announced at the moment for the PPV is RVD vs. Jerry Lynn in a non-title bout. That should at least be a good match because Jerry can still go and RVD always had some of his best matches against him. Apparently TNA will be announcing on the website after Impact some of the names that will be on the show. It’s not like that should be on television or anything.

I mean seriously could you imagine the WWE even for a weak PPV telling people “oh by the way go to WWE.com to find out who’s going to be on this thing…”. It would NEVER happen. The Internet is a good marketing tool but it’s nothing compared to the power of television. And they wonder why no one bothers to order the PPV’s. Paul if you do get an offer you cannot refuse you really have your work cut out for you to clean up this mess.

On that note I think I am done for this week. I’m a depressed enough person as it is and thinking about TNA honestly depresses me even more.

Before I go I want to share a link with you my loyal readers. My friend Trin has a page on the art site RedBubble. http://www.redbubble.com/people/rushingtide

She is an amazing writer and artist with photography and photo manipulation. She has some amazing art pieces for sale on this site, so maybe if you see something you think is really cool then place an order. I personally bought a copy of her piece called “Bleeding Me”. Metallica song titles are a recurring theme in her art pieces. You can’t go wrong with that.

So until next time remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

The Rant Of The Week: Paul Heyman's Midas Touch

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is The Rant Of The Week. There’s a lot of stuff going on in the world of wrestling so you can imagine I will have plenty to say. First summer is officially here and the Big Apple is the Baked Apple right now. Summer is here and good lord is it hot.

First off congratulations are in order to Brock Lesnar as he defeated Shane Carwin by submission (yes you read that right) to become the UNDISPUTED UFC Heavyweight Champion of the world. It was a hell of a fight as Carwin beat the living shit out of Brock in the first round, but since Shane hasn’t gone past the first round in any fight Brock may have gambled with the biggest game of rope a dope ever. Shane was clearly gassed and Brock got a take down and eventually he locked in an arm choke. Shane Carwin tapped just as his head started going from red to purple.

For a minute, Dana White probably was biting his nails as Brock was getting the bejesus beaten out of him. Brock is the UFC’s golden boy and for a couple of minutes in round one it looked like karma was coming back to Dana for mocking Strikeforce after Fedor’s loss last week. But all is well in the UFC as Brock is back. He recovered from an illness that almost killed him and he reclaimed his throne. See now that is what we call compelling television. I guarantee Vince McMahon was probably watching the PPV or has by this point because he knows even though he claims there is no competition (ITS TWO DIFFERENT THINGS DAMN IT), UFC is the reason all the adult male fans are leaving wrestling in droves. Well that and booking things for kids and watering everything down to the point where even the most die hard of fans says this is stupid.

But Vince will never buy that. The people that kiss his ass under him will continue to say “Oh well its two different audiences…no need to worry about those 1 Million buys boss”. It’s amazing how even a bad throw away UFC PPV out does most WWE PPV’s by a wide margin. The WWE’s solution to everything being bland is MORE GIMMICKS. Another cookie cutter PPV is coming up this time in the form of Money In The Bank. I guess the train wreck spot at Wrestlemania is now gone for the guys who would otherwise never get on the PPV because the WWE has decided to do a PPV with not one but TWO in the same night.

Does the word burnout not even mean anything to these people? A match that was actually interesting and worth the wait till Wrestlemania now will happen twice in one night. It’s no wonder no one actually orders PPV’s anymore. They keep jacking up the price but not the effort in making one want to actually pay to see it.

Paul Heyman gave a pretty good interview to Fight Magazine after the Lesnar/Carwin fight where he noted that Pro Wrestling fans are now UFC fans.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDOcy7GlhYQ

UFC is the WWE and Strikeforce is TNA. UFC is the multi million-dollar giant and Strikeforce is the well-funded yet seemingly inept competition. UFC has the dominant place in the market and Strikeforce is doing everything they can to get a foot in the door. He said in another interview with www.mmafighting.com that UFC did more PPV buys domestically then all of Professional Wrestling did world wide. It’s not hard to understand why. But I am sure there are people all over the wrestling industry who still don’t get it and it’s only a passing fad. I know Ric Flair said as much in an interview from a couple of weeks ago. Then again Flair probably only said that because some guys in the UFC make a fight what he used to in a year. With three divorces and alimony’s to pay, he is a tad bitter.

Speaking of Paul Heyman, right now TNA is betting everything on an ECW invasion angle in the hopes that Paul Heyman will come to TNA and save them from the fate of WCW before them.


TNA officials have gotten more aggressive over the past week or two when it comes to signing Paul Heyman. As noted before, Heyman has been offered the head of TNA creative job but Heyman wants a role where he’s the guy running everything, something similar to Dana White in UFC. It was also noted that he sees the creative side of things as a problem but not the biggest problem.
Credit: F4WOnline.com

If Paul wants the keys to the TNA kingdom then HAND THEM TO HIM. Paul should make it Iron Clad where no one can under cut you or sabotage his work. But as bad as TNA’s creative team is, it’s not the biggest problem there is. The biggest problem TNA has is no one knows whom the fuck they are. TNA has some of the worst promotion, which is amazing considering they have a great TV Pitchman in Don West on the payroll. How many people bought Mark McGwire rookie cards because of him? Are you telling me he can’t be on television at least shilling matches and up coming events?

TNA relies heavily on the Internet, which is nice, but the Internet only goes so far and I’m pretty sure this is what is meant by “not the biggest problem” or at least one of them. TNA does these great Before The Bell specials sort of like UFC’s Countdown To shows but unlike the UFC ones, Before The Bell ends up on Youtube and not on Spike where it should be.

Before a PPV why isn’t there at least a special on Spike to entice people to order the show? Well I know one reason why. It’s because TNA thinks TV Ratings are more important then PPV buys. See it’s that kind of thinking that if Paul Heyman does sign with TNA needs to be the first thing to go.

I could list a whole bunch of things wrong with TNA just from a production standpoint. I am sure Paul has these very things down on a list and if he does sign they will be first things addressed. Anyway you look at it, Paul knows rebuilding TNA from the inside out won’t be an overnight thing. If he were to take on such a thing, he has made it clear it has to be worth the sacrifice to his family. It could possibly be a five-year project to turn TNA in a company that is worth a damn…much less one that is making money and lots of it.

On Friday night TNA held a show here in Brooklyn at MCU Park where the Brooklyn Cyclones play and they drew their biggest North American paid attendance with between 5,500 and 6,000 fans. I was in attendance and I have to say the difference between the television shows and these house shows is astounding.

I have said a lot of horrible things about Jeff Jarrett over the years and I think I would like to take some of them back right now. Jarrett books the house shows and from top to bottom it was pretty damn good. No bullshit angles, no nonsense, and no nothing usually associated with TNA. It was a good old fashion professional wrestling card top to bottom. It’s such a novel concept to do pro wrestling that it could just work for them if they tried it.

Despite what you might think given my generally negative attitude towards TNA, I want to see them succeed. Obviously there are 6,000 other people here in the New York City area that wants to see them succeed as well.









Just a sample of the pics from the show that I personally took with my vastly outdated Nikon Coolpix 885. I pushed the limits of the ZOOM to its breaking point. If you are inclined to, on Facebook I have more photos from the show.

But look at that crowd. There is a fan base and it is willing to continue to support TNA. Now I don’t know if Paul Heyman will be the Messiah some make him out to be. Does he have the Midas touch to turn everything into Gold? I don’t know. But one thing is for sure here. What TNA is doing right now is not working. What TNA has been doing for the last eight damn years has not worked and it will continue not to work. TNA has the wrestlers with the talent to pull things off. TNA is like a gigantic ship that is loaded to the gills right now. But it has no one at the wheel and its just going in circles over and over and over. People in TNA who probably read this column know that is a fact.

Ah well we shall see what happens. There is a rumor floating around that Hulk Hogan is pushing for Abyss to win the TNA title at Victory Road so he can face him for it at Bound For Glory.

I don’t want to get all conspiratorial here; but the show was rumored to be in Charlotte and built around Flair suddenly gets moved to Tampa and Hogan is pushing for a title shot.

Well I’d probably order the PPV just to see it. There would be a lot of betting pools on how many bumps Hogan takes before his back finally breaks into a million pieces. Hogan doing a thumbtack bump is an amusing thought. Who would have ever guessed when Hogan was bullshitting about being up for the role of Randy The Ram that it would actually come true? Hogan’s back is seriously messed up and he has to be INSANE to think this would possibly work. Well we know he’s all ready insane, but there’s different levels of insanity and he’s going off the deep end if he thinks this is a good idea assuming the rumor is true.

But then again it wouldn’t surprise me if it were. I mean you really didn’t think Hogan was putting over Abyss with out thinking of himself in the long run did you? Hulk Hogan only puts someone over so long as it makes him look better in the long run. We shall see what happens. I really hope TNA doesn’t do something that stupid but knowing them will.

That would be a fun question to ask Paul Heyman. Say he does get an offer he cant refuse from TNA and he comes in just as Hogan is crowned champion. How in the hell does he fix that kind of mess?

In case you haven’t noticed, TNA has been using the likes of Tommy Dreamer, Raven, and Stevie Richards as part of some sort of angle where they just show up in the crowd and watch a match and then disappear. Apparently a few months ago TNA had some sort of focus group do market research and the one thing that came back in unison was people liked ECW.

Well no shit. Everyone loved ECW. But its 2010 and while we still love Tommy Dreamer, Raven, Stevie, and the others…I don’t want to see a rehash of a rehash of a rehashed angle.

See what people liked was the ECW show it self. Lots of wrestling and minimal bullshit. Anything that happened of importance happened inside the ring and not in some pre-taped sketch in the back. Hell I would take Mid 80’s Memphis Wrestling over ECW. It’s not that hard to figure out what works and what does not. It’s all about the build to the big match. You have to get us emotionally invested into wanting to see say Jay Lethal overcome weeks and weeks of punishment to get the big win and revenge over Fortune.

TNA would end up doing something that could last weeks in one or two shows and that is the problem.

ECW was old school in the sense it was all about the build to the big ECW Arena show. Sure there was more violence but there was plenty of old school stuff to tug on the old heartstrings. That is what TNA needs to do in a nutshell.

Abyss keeps referring to “THEY”. Well I hope “they” turn out to be the ECW guys and “they” end up beating the crap out of him. Abyss would have never been worth a damn in the real ECW. What he needs to do is just go to Japan or CZW all ready and win some deathmatch stuff. I’d rather see a Youtube clip of Abyss taking a swan dive into a pile of light tubes in some parking lot then it happening on Impact.

Moving along to the more ridiculous stuff in the news, this one really made me laugh when I read it. Read it yourselves and I’m sure you’ll have the same reaction.

The Wrestling Observer is reporting that Vince McMahon has banned the "knife edge" chop from use in WWE matches. The chop, which was made famous by Ric Flair, generally gets a "woo" reaction from the crowd after it's used by a wrestler, and Vince does not want the crowd woo'ing as it of course reminds them of Flair, who works for TNA right now. It should be noted that straight down chops like the ones used by The Great Khali and Big Show are still being allowed as they don't draw a "woo" reaction from the fans.

Vince McMahon might be the best promoter in all of wrestling, but he really is a schmuck sometimes and this is one of those times. What is next? Do you ban punches because it might remind someone of Hogan or someone else who’s on the McMahon shitlist? Though apparently this rule has been in place for a while now but only Flair and Shawn Michaels were allowed to do them.

There is a solution though for this. I suggest everyone who is reading this column who is going to some sort of WWE event in the future, anytime Show or anyone else does an open hand slap you have to do a WOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Hell you should just do it at random times to really drive them nuts. It’s always fun to screw with the audio and make them dump out entire sections of the crowd if they aren’t reacting the way they want to.

The Nexus Angle continues to be the best thing the WWE has going right now even though it almost got cut off at the knees last week when Wade Barrett had a visa issue to be worked out. The Nexus rookies ended up beating up Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko, Jerry Lawler, Michael Hayes, Mike Rotunda, and Ricky Steamboat in an awesome angle. Steamboat is in the hospital for real due to a broken blood vessel in his brain (not an aneurism as initially feared).

Right now they are playing it as the heels of RAW are ganging up on the good guys who are trying to take out the Nexus. Arn Anderson did a rambling but still damn good promo on RAW last night where he told Sheamus that he’s basically gonna get his ass kicked by them in the end. I know people complain about old guys who hang around way past their prime (cough Hogan cough) but you know what, I wanted to see The Nexus take on some of the Legends in a street fight. During RAW last week when all the legends formed a circle and rolled up their sleeves you knew that it was going down. Who wouldn’t love to see Arn get some revenge with a tire iron along with Barry, Mike, Sgt Slaughter, and other old timers? Dust off Tony Garera and whatever corner he’s been hiding in and have him be part of it. A good old fashion eight-man tag would be awesome.

See now I would want to see the legends come out of retirement for a shot at revenge at the young punks. Nexus in a no holds barred fight against the legends would do way more for the angle then lame talking segments.

The WWE got lucky at the end of RAW when John Cena beat the living shit out of Black Cena Darren Young. That was the first time in years that John Cena didn’t look lame to all the men in the crowd. Usually I laugh at Cena when he’s doing his “I’m quiet so it means I’m serious” then “GRRRRR I’M ANGRY” schitck, but last night it worked big time. I am looking forward to see what happened next as Cena will be in a Overcoming The Odds 7 (well I guess 6 now) on 1 match next week. There really is so much that still can be done with this but I fear they are barely scratching the surface on purpose. I say go all out and bring back the unpredictability factor to RAW. That was the one good thing about the Attitude era. You didn’t know what would happen next. At any given moment all hell could break loose. The Nexus angle is bringing that back. Someone being left in a pool of blood couldn’t hurt either.

There is just one small thing that I don’t like about The Nexus. Can we please have them wear some clothes? They aren’t wrestling so why are they in their full gear? Have them all dress up in matches black jeans and shirts with giant N’s on them. It just looks weird when these guys who up all dressed to wrestle even though we know they aren’t going to. Just put some damn pants on them…please.

Other then that the only thing of interest over the last few days was last week The Undertaker made it official with his Old Lady Michelle McCool. She officially became the new Mrs. Undertaker and we can all expect her to run the WWE Women’s division with an iron fist as long as she is. We used to joke that Triple H and Stephanie’s daughter Aurora would someday break Moolah’s record as longest reigning Women’s Champion. Well it looks like she has some competition now. Though with RAW having a Divas title and Smackdown having a Women’s championship in theory both of them could have record breaking runs.

I can’t hate on McCool though. Right now the FLAWLESS LayCool team is tremendous on Smackdown. People hate Layla but she really has improved so much since just being a diva search winner. I look forward to the day when they break up because McCool wants her belt back. That will be a fun feud even though we know who will win in the end.

On that note I am done for this week. It’s way too hot here to continue. I mean I could, but right now I think I’ve covered all the bases for this week. It will be interesting to see how many buys Lesnar’s fight did and how many combined WWE PPV numbers it equals.

Well until next time keep cool and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd