The Rant Of The Week: What Older Audiences Want

Time is standing still
He gave me back my will
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Going home
I'm going home
My eyes are bleeding
And my heart is weeping
We still hope, we still hope, oh
Take me back
He gave me back my will
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Going home
I'm going home
My eyes are bleeding
And my heart is weeping
We still hope, we still hope, oh

Take me back, take me back
Back to my home, oh, oh...-Stargazer by Rainbow
Rest In Peace Ronnie James Dio

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is my Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from the urban hellhole that is Brooklyn, New York and I don’t know what it is, but lately anytime it rains here it makes everything feel cold. Maybe it’s a sign of the impending ice age some say will start this decade or that El Nino thing is all screwed up. But either way it would be nice for May to feel like May and not like October. It can feel like October when it’s October.

As you see on the top of the column, one of my musical hero’s Ronnie James Dio has passed away at the age 67. Dio was such an amazing singer and it showed in songs like Stargazer, Light In The Black, Catch The Rainbow and so on and so forth. If you’ve never listened to Rainbow, his work with Black Sabbath/Heaven and Hell, or his solo stuff you really should. Dio was a real singer and a real musician. He didn’t need over modulation and autotune to make a song work. It’s sad that so much garbage passes as popular music today when the real good music is always overlooked. Honestly there are not many bands from today that I will even listen to simply because they do not have the timeless quality that so many bands from yesterday have. All I can hope is Ronnie is a better place now and that great jam session in the sky just got a great singer.

In other news, in case you blinked and missed it the Monday Night Wars are over. It was just about six weeks but TNA seeing the writing on the wall and bleeding buckets of money said the hell with it and moved back to Thursdays. Of course TNA will say they listened to the fans feedback. If TNA were really listening to fans feedback they wouldn’t be up shitcreek right now. Hell they might actually be turning a major profit by now if they listened to us the lowly fans. But TNA is where it is because it is run by some of the most stubborn people on the planet. These same people drove WCW into the ground and here they are doing it once again. It’s quite impressive to do the same thing to two different companies in the same industry ten years apart.

But times are tough and TNA needs to cut a shitload of people right now to save a shitload of money since they spent more then a shitload bringing in people like Hogan, Bischoff, RVD, Hardy, Hall, and Anderson. Apparently Dixie Carter just can’t bring herself to fire the 15-20 people that have been put on the chopping block because of the current economy. You know I’ve always said that despite Dixie being a clueless twit when it comes to running a wrestling company, she at least seems like a genuinely nice person. From everything I’ve ever read or heard about the pro wrestling business, someone who is genuinely nice and caring is somewhat rare. Someone always has a motive for his or her actions but with Dixie she really doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

Only problem is with the way the company is run, there might not be a company to employ all these people.

Just looking at the current TNA roster here’s whom I would cut.

Amazing Red, Dr. Stevie, Kioshi, Rob Terry, Orlando Jordan, & Rhino.

Now I like Red, Stevie, Kioshi, and Rhino but times are tough. Besides all of these guys can make more money and be worth more to other Indies out there then sitting around on TNA waiting to be used as cannon fodder. Well in the case of Kioshi he can just go back to Japan and be a star there.

There are six guys right off the top. Firing people is never good, but sometimes it must be done. Now in the cases of Rob Terry and Orlando Jordan I think they should just rid of them because they have no redeeming value. Terry is a giant roid freak who will never be a top guy because if his matches go more then five minutes (entrance included) you will be exposing him big time.

Orlando Jordan is just a giant pile of suck. I get it, the gimmick is supposed to be controversial but it doesn’t work if the person doing it makes you want to change the channel. Goldust made it work because he had the character and talent to pull it off. The same goes for Adorable Adrian Adonis and the inspiration for all of these characters Adrian Street. Orlando Jordan has none of what those guys had. All he has is the work of someone trying to do something controversial and it falls flat every single time.

In the Observer a couple weeks ago there was a report that some of the friends of Chris Kanyon think he might have been pushed over the edge after seeing Orlando Jordan debut his bi-sexual gimmick. Now while there is no proof of this, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities that Chris was watching Impact and he saw Orlando Jordan doing a gimmick that he knew he could do because he had all ready pitched it so many times. All Orlando Jordan gets is groans from the crowd as we can’t believe they are wasting time with this crap. Kanyon had such an electric personality that I have no doubt that if the WWE or TNA gave him a shot to run with being openly gay on television he would have made it work.

Orlando Jordan is pushing back the hope of any gay or bisexual wrestler being over or taken seriously at least a couple of decades. Of course that is par for the course with all things TNA.

We shall see what happens in TNA probably by next week as they just finished wrapping up a month worth of shows in four days. A lot of good people will probably get cut while a lot of people who should be cut end up staying put.

TNA is coming to here to Brooklyn on July 2nd and I hope to be able to go. I am a bit surprised at the choice of a venue though as TNA has booked MCU Park where the Brooklyn Cyclones play in Coney Island. Now I’m sure it will make for some great videos right next to the Parachute Jump and with the Cyclone Rollercoaster and Dino’s Wonder wheel in the background. But it seems so odd for a house show. It might have been a good choice for a huge PPV, but a house show seems odd especially since there were plenty of venues in Brooklyn that could have housed a TNA event. It’s always been said that TNA House shows are like night and day compared to TNA Television and PPV shows. On the house shows they do that wrestling stuff that people seem to like.

TNA could potentially draw a huge crowd for this show and that would be a good thing for them.

Honestly though TNA needs a major overhaul in marketing because knowing them they are just going to rely on word of mouth on the Internet and that will get them only so far. Earlier I was thinking about the marketing situation and one thing came to my mind and that is TNA needs to find a way to hire Shane McMahon. Now I am not talking about Shane as an on air character or anything. TNA and Spike TV should hire him strictly as an executive because he is one of the main reasons the WWE is the media conglomerate that it is today. Now I know this will probably never happened and if it did happen they would hire Shane to be another on-air boss which would just suck. If TNA wants to really succeed they need someone who can market them and get them noticed because what they are doing right now just isn’t working. And the irony is they have the world’s greatest shiller Don West on the payroll and they don’t even use him on television.

Just one small thing of many that TNA does that makes you scratch your head.

Moving along, the WWE has managed to make NXT somewhat interesting again after a few months of them clearly not giving a shit about it. I think we can all agree the NXT concept was hardly revolutionary. They should have honestly just brought back Tough Enough. At least it could have been their version of The Ultimate Fighter. The show now is just a run of the mill WWE show with no reality aspects even though they claimed it would be reality based. I think it’s fair to say they should have never cancelled ECW. ECW as they had it was a perfectly acceptable wrestling program. I think the biggest problem is that it’s on SyFy. See a show like ECW really should be in syndication like Superstars or Wrestling Challenge used to be in my day. But alas that’s a discussion for another column someday. Right now NXT is somewhat interesting again simply because the WWE finally decided to pull the trigger and let Daniel Bryan be Bryan Danielson.

Danielson going off on the system that the WWE has was a thing of greatness and him bitch slapping Michael Cole was tremendous to watch. In the old days Michael Cole probably would have formed a Paul Jones-esq stable full of guys that he would send to take out Danielson. Hell it’s the same principal that has worked in Memphis for so many decades for Jerry Lawler and company. Truth be told if you take an angle like this and throw it onto RAW then it would make for some really compelling television. Danielson breaking away from the “script” and “shooting” makes for fun television. It’s this kind of stuff that NXT should have been doing from the damn start. This is the kind of reality-based programming we are looking for. TNA tries to do this stuff and they usually fail because it’s not so much them being trying to bring reality in, but them just hoping and praying the WWE takes notice to them.

But the Danielson thing was great as he went off on how it should be guys who can make the WWE the most money and he is the best at what he does and he said he was damn sure better then The Miz. William Regal and CM Punk both agreed with that statement.



If we don’t get a Danielson/Miz match then the whole NXT show will have been for nothing. Granted it has given us the awesomeness that is Wade Barrett and proved to us the theory from Time Cop that the same two people cannot occupy the same space at the same time (John Cena and Darren Young aka Black Cena). But if the whole show was just to get Bryan over with the WWE crowds (and he was) and he never faces The Miz then it was all for NOTHING.

Honestly if this stuff were the kind of sports entertainment the WWE was doing then I’m sure a lot more of us the men in the audience who have to sit through John Cena would have no problem with things being PG. Personally I have no problem with PG. There are just things I would do differently to keep the attention of the only demographic that matters and that’s the male demo of 18-35 year olds. More and more of us are switching to MMA (specifically UFC) and it’s simply because the vast majority of what the WWE does is predictable and boring. Now like I said the stuff with Danielson has been interesting. So has the great feud on Smackdown with CM Punk and Rey Mysterio. Jack Swagger vs. The Big Show is another feud that I hope will continue past the PPV this weekend because it’s been so fun so far.

I can accept that PG is here to say for the foreseeable future. They claim it’s because of sponsors, but in reality it’s just for Linda McMahon’s Senate run (which I will get to later). But just because everything has to be PG it doesn’t mean it has to be boring and predictable. If the WWE took the formula for Smackdown and applied it to RAW things would be pretty good. Granted we would have to still sit through the Cenation but at least we’d get some good television out of it.

Now the only thing I have against TV PG is the lack of blood. Blood has always been an integral part of wrestling. I am not saying every match needs blood for the sake of blood, but a little blood once in a while won’t kill anyone. It’s really stupid to see the WWE stop matches and patch guys up if they have a split lip or a paper cut over the eye. Sadly though this is the direction the WWE wants to go. I could understand the reasoning for no blood if it were for health concerns. But since I am guessing HIV and stuff like Staph are not a huge problem for the WWE it really wouldn’t hurt if once in a while especially in cage matches if there was some blood.

There probably won’t be any intentional blood for a long time to come (or at least till all the Cena marks hit puberty and McMahon changes the product to cater to all those horny teens). There was an interesting interview with the Chief Operating Officer of the WWE Donna Goldsmith. TNA must have been giddy since the WWE mentioned them (even though the WWE completely buried them).

These are interview highlights from the JP Morgan Global Technology, Media and Telecom Conference.

WWE might not publicly acknowledge the existence of TNA Wrestling on official WWE programming, but WWE is aware of TNA's programming on Spike TV.

WWE COO Donna Goldsmith criticized TNA's programming during a media & technology conference yesterday, saying TNA is "blood, guts, and gore" compared to their toned-down, PG product.

"If you look at another program called TNA, which is a wrestling program on Spike, that is blood and guts and gore. We are not going there, nor I would say have we ever been to that degree that they are," Goldsmith said at the J.P. Morgan Global Media, Technology, and Media Conference in Boston. "We decided no blood and if someone gets hit by accident, we will stop the match if we have to and take care of them. Those decisions (to market WWE TV as PG) were made consciously."

Goldsmith said WWE made the change to PG to help them draw revenue across the board by being able to establish more partnerships that would make money for the company.

"The networks are telling us we're PG and we're talking to our potential partners and they are saying, 'Prove to us you are PG and we will sign off on them.' Goldsmith said prior to officially going PG, they would show potential sponsors their reach on TV, their website, and live events, but sponsors would pass due to the content, saying 'The content leaves us a little bit uncomfortable.'

"We spoke to the writers, we spoke to Vince (McMahon), we spoke to public relations and asked if we can still keep the programming cool and edgy while taking it down a notch," Goldmsith said. "Our writers, yeah, they were challenged a little bit, but they said, 'We can do it. We can make this program just as good as it's been.' They started to take the program in a little bit of a different direction."

Goldsmith said they've had potential partners come back and want to work with WWE, including 7-Eleven with another summer promotion and Burger King with a "global Kid's Meal program" for the first-time ever.

I wouldn’t call TNA’s product Blood, Guts, and Gore. They haven’t quite lowered themselves to the level of say Big Japan where every other match involved light tubes and barbwire…though I wouldn’t be surprised if that did happen some day. Going PG is making them more money, but you know what else would make the WWE money? Not having a boring and predictable show.

The thing the WWE needs to realize though as much as they call themselves sports entertainment, as long as there is that second W in the name they will always be a lowly wrestling company to the vast majority of people. Oh sure you can try and have “mainstream appeal” but it’s always been a pipe dream to think that the mainstream will ever accept anything McMahon does as anything but lowly wrestling. Don’t get me wrong; I am a capitalist through and through so I am all about making money. If the WWE is able to make a profit in this God forsaken economy then more power to them. The fact remains things are boring and predictable and they will be for a long time to come for one simple reason and that’s because Vince thinks he has no competition.

Vince and the WWE hierarchy have delude themselves into thinking MMA is not competition. I’m not even going to mention TNA as competition because they aren’t. The UFC whether Vince will admit it or not is the WWE’s competition and they have continually dominated and destroyed the WWE buyrate wise month after month in PPV’s which is the only real number that counts.

UFC can get away with charging $44.95 a PPV because they build the hell out of their fights. Jim Cornette said it best a while back in an interview he did when he said UFC books their shows like wrestling used to in the 70’s and early 80’s. Even the shows that many consider to be throwaway’s end up having fights that make it worth the price of ordering. Sure some PPV’s have stinkers, but name any PPV that doesn’t have at least one stinker on it.

But for those of you who think the WWE has sucked ever since TV 14 went away, there’s more bad news for you potentially on the horizon.


Now if you think that’s bad…

WWE COO Donna Goldsmith said yesterday at the JP Morgan Global Technology, Media and Telecom Conference that WWE is talking with Nickelodeon about bringing an animated TV series to the network.

Goldsmith also said she recently talked with Vince McMahon about how WWE has walked away from their older audience in recent years and talked about new ideas to get that audience back.

Goldsmith said McMahon suggested a nostalgia or Legends program.

Yep it’s coming full circle folks. It’s 1985 all over again and Hulk Hogan’s Rock N’ Wrestling is going to make a comeback. Now I’m sure if something as horrible as a modern WWE Cartoon ever happened it would be a great marketing tool for the WWE. But I’m just horrified at the thought of how the animation is going to look. I am very old school when it comes to cartoons. When it comes to perfectly drawn cartoons they don’t get any better then Looney Toons or Hanna–Barbera cartoons. Hell the last great animated cartoon at least for my generation (in my mind) had to between Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The X-Men or Batman: The Animated Series.

I’m not a fan of the kind of animation Nickelodeon has on their network now. If it’s not computer then it’s really horrible exaggerated drawing. I can’t imagine the WWE would go out of their way to get really good animation if a cartoon series ever did happen. Iron Man: Armored Adventures is pretty good on Nicktoons (where I would imagine a WWE inspired show would land) so if they got that animation house to do it then visually speaking it wouldn’t be bad. Story wise I can just imagine how horrible it would be. John Cena overcoming even more odds. Just put him in a blue suit and red cape and make the transformation complete.

Stuff like this is great to get the younger audience. But the older audiences are the ones who have to sit through everything so the younger audience can watch and as I mentioned before, the older audience…mainly the male demo are leaving the WWE and wrestling in general for MMA.
I have a funny feeling USA along with the WWE have spent money on focus groups to see what we men want. They probably took one look at those results as most companies do and decided the audience doesn’t know what they want so they’ll watch what we give them and like it. It’s that attitude that is the main reason RAW is so hit or miss to the fans. Sure some stuff is great, but the rest of it falls flat. And make no mistake, when the WWE talks about losing fans they are talking about RAW. RAW is the flagship of the company and it dictates how the ship sails so to speak. It’s funny to think that all McMahon can think of to get old fans back is more nostalgia.

From a nostalgia standpoint it was special to see Bret Hart win the United States championship in Toronto. I have no idea where they are going with this because Bret cannot do much except the Sharpshooter. But you know what? When Bret locked it on and he held up that belt for a small moment it felt like the way things used to be. Back during a time when things were all right. But like I said, where they are going with this I don’t know.

This has been the main problem with the WWE for years. Story and angle wise for the most part things just make no sense.

Oh the one thing we do not need is more Legends. I like seeing them once in a while to show they still got it, but we don’t need more legends. If you want to do more Legends stuff then produce more Legends Roundtables on WWE Classics. That’s a show that should be updated monthly. TNA books itself around WWE legends and well look where it’s gotten them.

Looking at the page count I realize I have written a small book here so if you are anything like me, your attention span must be wearing thin by now so I’m gonna wrap things up with some bits and pieces of news.

The rumor going around about RAW's new General Manager on Monday is that it will be former ECW personality and WWE developmental star Abraham Washington, of The Abraham Washington Show fame.
Credit to www.f4wonline.com

I might just delete RAW off the DVR if this happens. The Abraham Washington Show was some of the most uncomfortable television to ever sit through. Mostly because of the horrible writing and that was ECW. The horrible writing factor would go up ten fold on RAW. There’s a better rumor of Michael Cole becoming the new RAW GM to go with his new heel persona that he does brilliantly on NXT. See now that I would want to see. Abraham Washington doing his Obama gimmick with no Tony Atlas? I think I’ll pass.

WWE fired Carlito yesterday for an alleged Wellness Program violation and subsequent refusal to enter rehab. The report on WWE.com noted that his termination followed a first violation of the program. However, WWE sources indicate that Carlito did not fail a drug test but instead was fired after he arrived at Monday’s RAW in Toronto and management felt that he was unfit to perform. According to Dave Meltzer, everything went down on Monday and drug test results wouldn't have been available at the time Carlito's release was announced.
Credit to www.f4wonline.com

I was surprised this happened the other day because it finally looked like they were going to use Carlito for something. I’ve always been under the impression that Carlito despite his perceived attitude problems was always held down while he was on RAW. He could have been a much bigger star then he was. He was always fairly over with the crowds but the WWE like they do to a lot of people handcuffed him and he could never establish himself with anything other then the apple. Well I’m sure it’s no big loss for Carlito. He’s wanted to get out of the WWE for a couple of years now. I’m sure TNA will give him a deal when they can and he’ll probably be an X Division champion in six months time. Worse comes to worse he goes back to Puerto Rico and is the biggest star in his old man’s company WWC. All he needs is someone to be an Abdullah The Butcher for him and he’ll have steady work for the next 40 or 50 years.

Randy Savage's marriage to longtime girlfriend Lynn Payne has an interesting back story. Savage and Payne actually met for the first time in 1974 at Lido Beach in Sarasota, FL. At the time, Savage was playing minor league baseball for the Tampa Tarpons and Payne was attending school at the Ringling School of Art and Design. They dated for two years before parting ways. After a near three-decade separation, the couple reunited in 2001.

"Thirty-six years ago, Lynn and I met on
Lido Beach," said Poffo. "I feel so fortunate that I had a second chance to marry my first love, here where it all began."

Credit: Wrestling Globe Newsletter

Credit to TimBoylesPhotography.com

Congratulations to The Macho Man Randy Savage on his marriage. Savage has done what a lot of guys his age have not been able to and that’s stay clear of wrestling after retirement. Granted he would probably make a great commentator for some company, but I am glad that he has found true love again. The whole Randy/Elizabeth saga had as sad of an ending as it gets so to see he found his first love and they finally got together after all of these years it does give you hope especially to all the hopeless romantics out there.

So to The Macho Man and Lynn…Salute.

On that happy note I am done for this week. There’s some sort of PPV this weekend from the WWE. If Batista wins the WWE title I will be very very very VERY surprised. But until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

The Rant Of The Week: Meltdown's & Knockouts

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow the one and only Phantom Lord and this is the ever important Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from the urban hellhole that is Brooklyn, New York and you know there must be some fun topics of interest if I am writing a column in consecutive weeks. It’s been a long while since the Rant Of The Week was well The Rant Of The Week. I used to bang these out once a week and that was post WCW being closed. I might have missed out on the glory years of the IWC, but thanks to TNA and the WWE going PG there seems to be a never-ending source of material, which is a good thing for lowly columnists like myself.

Oddly enough it was a beautiful cloudy Sunday here in New York so I was in a rather good mood and it might actually reflect that here in this column. Of course don’t think just because I’m somewhat happy I won’t be the same objective realist that I always am. If something deserves my praise it will get it. On the flip side if something deserves my wrath then it will get it.

Now with the Jim Cornette meltdown alert status at Defcon 2, I will get to everything involving him, Uncle Eric, and TNA in due time. But first I wanted to try something new and take a stab at MMA. MMA is where a lot of people say all the real fans of Pro Wrestling are going because quite frankly they have something TNA and the WWE usually don’t and that’s good action and compelling storylines. On Saturday Night was the Strikeforce CBS Saturday Night Fight’s event and for the most part I thought it was pretty good. I was watching that and the never-ending 20-inning game between the Mets and St. Louis Cardinals and for a time, The Strikeforce event had more hits and offense. If you want to look at it from a wrestling standpoint, Strikeforce is TNA to the UFC’s WWE. UFC is the 800-pound gorilla and Strikeforce is the little company with a massive inferiority complex trying to compete against them on a huge scale.

MMA is at a point where it’s trying to take over the mantle of what Boxing one was. Unfortunately for MMA, there are still plenty of detractors who say it’s human cockfighting and it should be banned. Many of these people are getting ammunition after the events to close the Strikeforce event when ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE after Jason “Mayhem” Miller came into the cage and asked Jake Shields when is he getting his rematch. A shove is thrown and the next thing you know the Diaz Brothers are going to town on Mayhem and it’s a good old fashion Boxing riot inside the cage. From a Pro Wrestling standpoint I thought it was great. Every sport needs a compelling story to draw people in and Mayhem Miller is such a prick, he’s the kind of guy you would pay to see get his ass kicked. Of course all the MMA people don’t see it as such. They see it as a black on the sport and with the low ratings the show had it could possibly be a deathblow for national television and Strikeforce.

Personally I don’t think that will be the case. If ratings were low it’s simply because CBS has shown time and a time again they don’t know how to promote anything. Of course Strikeforce is equally to blame because they have no one in that company who seems to know what they are doing when it comes to promotion or building a brand. If Shane McMahon does ever get into MMA, He should work with Strikeforce ASAP. If anyone could benefit from brand development, it sure as hell is Strikeforce.

All is not lost with Strikeforce though. They still have Fedor and as long as they build the company around him as the best fighter of any sport in the world all should be fine. I just hope after the brawl this weekend, Mayhem is on the fast track for a title shot against Shields because I would love to see Jake beat the shit out of him.

Moving back to that Pro Wrestling stuff, the big story of last week was Jim Cornette coming close to having another full scale meltdown as TNA sent him a legal letter over an e-mail he sent to Terry Taylor where he said if he could do it and get away with it, he would kill Vince Russo.



The Jim Cornette DEFCON Alert Status is a good barometer of Jim’s state of mind. While his moods vary between each alert level, it is clear that Jim is moving closer and closer to a full-blown RED ALERT.

In Cornette’s history, much like the real DEFCON system we’ve never hit the red alert. We’ve come really close several times though. The most famous of which is when Cornette slapped Johnny Geo Basco backstage numerous times after Geo Basco laughed during what was supposed to be a serious scary angle. Basco is now known as Santino Marella and Cornette was trying (in vein) to build The Boogeyman into a feared act and things had been brewing before that and Santino laughing thus destroying his hard work caused Jim to pretty much go off the deep end. But as bad as that was, it wasn’t a full-blown meltdown.

Right now there is a back and forth war of words between Cornette and Eric Bischoff and along with this legal letter TNA sent him accusing him of terrorist threats against Vince Russo and his family, much like the Katla volcano in Iceland we might be on the verge of THE BIG ONE. The conditions are right as pressure has been building. Cornette sees TNA as a company with all the tools for success but instead of success the same people that screwed him and many other people are driving it into the ground. It happened in WCW and now it’s happening again in TNA. The worst thing for someone like Cornette is to keep screaming that something is wrong and instead of being listened to he is getting mocked and could in theory be facing legal troubles if TNA really wanted to screw with him.

The sad thing about all of this is Ring Of Honor is caught in the middle of it. Cornette is working for ROH so the question is with someone openly saying they want to see someone die, how can they in good conscience keep that person as part of the company. Granted Cornette is working for free with ROH, but after the whole RF scandal a few years ago the last thing ROH needs is someone else bringing bad publicity to their company. The funny thing is if there were ever a time to do a TNA vs. ROH feud it would be now. Bischoff and Cornette just screaming at each other would probably be the best main event Impact could have. I would laugh if somehow deep down this is all a double super secret work to benefit both companies. I’ve always said these companies should be working with each other…not against each other.

ROH had some good success with the ROH/CZW feud a couple of years ago. ROH invading TNA to take on TNA and all that is wrong with it would make for fun television. Of course it would never happen, but one can always fantasy book.

TNA had a decent PPV last night with Lockdown. Sure there was plenty of the usual TNA insanity, but there was also a decent amount of good action. But one thing that drove me mad was The Beautiful People vs. Tara/Angelina Love Title for Titles match. I have never liked this stipulation where it’s a tag match of some sort and depending on who pins whom you either win a singles title or a tag title. Now I didn’t see the match, but just reading the results I couldn’t do anything but shake my head.

Angelina Love won the Knockouts title via lockbox two weeks ago. Now I love Angelina; but she is bland as hell as a face so I really wish Tara were still champion (people are hating on her too much btw). Last week they had a train wreck of a match where Velvet cashed in her anyone anytime any match contract in what supposed to be a Leather and Lace deal but when it came time she said she changed her mind. Meanwhile she stacked the deck against Angelina and she could have choose a match where she could have easily won the Knockouts title in a great heel move but instead she said “I’m gonna wait a week to beat you in the cage to show everyone how good of a wrestler I am”.

I along with a good portion of the Internet was scratching our collective heads at that one, but this is TNA so it’s par for the course. Long story short after all of that Angelina ends up losing the Knockouts title to Madison Rayne and The Beautiful People have all the Knockouts Gold.

Now I like The Beautiful People, I really do. They are great at what they do and they are easily one of the best heel factions in all of wrestling. Angelina Love should not be a bland face. She should be the super bitch back as the leader of The Beautiful People. Melina has the same problem in the WWE. She is horrible as a face. But as a super bitch she is incredible. I dread the day that Maryse is turned face because that will ruin her. But I just can’t see the reasoning in Madison Rayne winning the Knockouts title in a throw away match when they were building another Angelina/Tara feud. Don’t get me wrong, Madison is great and she is the glue that holds TBP together, but it just makes no sense. It’s amazing how far the Knockouts have come from the days of Gail Kim as the Torchbearer.

By how far, I’m not saying that in a good way. They have fallen from being one of the highlights of the show to comedy segments. Gail Kim who was by far one of TNA’s biggest draws, when her contract came all she wanted was a deal that was good financially and Dixie said, “well we’re sorry, but we don’t have the kind of money the WWE has”. Gail ended up taking the WWE deal and while it’s good money wise for her, wrestling wise she’s second or third fiddle and not the centerpiece she was in TNA. Awesome Kong who was by far another one of TNA’s best draws wanted a good deal as well but TNA shafted her on money. By some reports she was only making $400 a show.

Christie Hemme (who I like) was signed to a $175k a year contract just because she was a former WWE star and Playboy cover girl. Tara (another one I like) apparently has a big money deal as well, but her contract is coming up soon according to some reports and they don’t know if she will re-sign. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t simply because of the way she’s been booked. I mean she lost the Knockouts title via key turn all because of a stupid spider.

It’s mind numbing to think TNA had some of the best Women’s wrestlers in North America and let them walk. Cheerleader Melissa aka Alyssa Flash comes to mind right off the bat. If there was ever a woman you could build a women’s division around it is her. They have Ayako Hamada on the roster now and they do NOTHING with her. Hamada is one of the best female wrestlers on the entire planet and she just fills the background for the most part in meaningless tag matches. They had her teamed with Awesome Kong as the Knockouts tag champions, but when the whole Bubba/Kong deal happened and Kong that left her up shit creek so to speak. I would love to see Hamada get a run as Knockouts champion, but I doubt that would ever happen.

ODB is another favorite of many others and mine and she is by far one of the most popular wrestlers in all of TNA. So it boggles the mind that TNA does nothing with her either. All they use her for is really lame comedy or filler for tag matches. I always thought it was a huge mistake she didn’t win the Knockouts title in late 2008. When she finally did win the title it was part of a stupid comedy angle with Cody Deener. Now I’m all for Men vs. Women matches when they are done right. Andy Kaufman proved you could get nuclear heat and make tons of money with them. But when they are nothing but lame comedy to fill TV time it defeats the purpose of them and ODB and Cody Deener sure as hell deserved better then that.

Sarita and Taylor Wylde are a pretty dynamic tag team and perfect baby faces that any division men or women’s would need. YET WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY???

You see the point I am getting at here folks. Even in it’s current state the TNA Knockouts division is better then the WWE Women’s/Divas and yet TNA does nothing with them or ignores their importance all together. I honestly don’t understand why TNA doesn’t have a second show for the Knockouts. I mean its Spike TV so I think they can fit an hour on late Saturday nights for a Knockouts show. They can cram all the comedy they want into that plus they can put all the women they have on the roster to use. For an added bonus show video of them doing photo shoots in skimpy outfits…it’s a win/win for everyone involved. It’s not like it has to be SHIMMER where everything is super competitive. Just don’t relegate the Knockouts who have proven to be ratings draws to small segments that most people will fast forward through on the DVR.

Moving along I was shocked that TNA had a really good episode of Impact this week. The post Lockdown show was really good which is amazing since TNA usually screws up shows after their big PPV’s. They had two huge matches on the show with RVD facing Jeff Hardy for a shot at the TNA World Title with the winner getting the title shot later in the night. RVD won and he took on AJ Styles and RVD is now the new TNA World Heavyweight Champion. I thought both matches were great, but I had one small tiny problem with it.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE GIVE AWAY THESE MATCHES WITH NO BUILD WHAT SO EVER???

Okay I get it; PPV is a lost cause so there’s no point of building up PPV matches because aside from the big events no one gives a shit about them. But how in the world do you give these matches away with no build up what so ever? At the very least you could have slowly built up the RVD/Hardy feud for a month before you pulled the trigger on a match with them. Then Styles could have ducked RVD for weeks before he was finally forced into the match. I’m sure RVD will do great as champion so long as there isn’t the usual screwy TNA booking, but it just boggles the mind how they blew their wad on this one. I compare it to that because I couldn’t help but thinking of that scene in American Pie where Jim is with Nadia and he blows his load before he can do anything. Yes I know it’s crude, but Raven described building an angle like building up to an orgasm. You can either do it the right way and have it be mind blowing, or do it quick and cheap and be left unfulfilled.

I think that sums up a lot about TNA. A lot of unfulfillment on there part, for us the long-suffering wrestling fan.

On the plus side it appears Samoa Joe is back after some how escaping the Juggalo ninja’s that kidnapped him over a month ago. You know any other company probably would have turned that into an angle of some sort. Hell we could have probably got some fun Cactus Jack Lost In Cleveland type videos as people search for Samoa Joe. Ah well at least Joe is back and he’s reverted back to his 2005 self. So long to the Nation Of Violence and having a penis painted on your face.

Another bright side in TNA is crazy Ric Flair. Ric Flair is becoming Randy The Ram more and more with each passing week. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Yes people are complaining about Flair ruining his retirement, but as long as a wrestler is breathing no retirement is ever final. Flair has three alimonies to pay so sadly he might be doing insane shit for the next decade no matter what company he is in. The only thing a lot of us on the Internet have an issue with is the fact that Ric Flair bleeds for no apparent reason anymore.

I am all for blood in wrestling, but Flair is tapping gushers for no reason. Did his skin become so thin that the lightest touch causes it to rip open? Did Flair some how become a hemophiliac where a paper cut causes a gusher? Ric Flair can put over people better then anyone else. But he shouldn’t have to tap a gusher every time someone nails him with a punch. Flair can be the new JJ Dillon and he has the new Horsemen in the form of AJ Styles, Desmond Wolfe, and Beer Money. They just need to pull the trigger and make it official. This group right here can be the greatest heel stable group in all of wrestling. The hell with rehashing the n.w.o. or stuff with Austin/McMahon. That’s how they should of kept the belt on Styles. Have the new Horsemen protect him at all costs.

TNA I just gave you guys a major money idea…yet again. Maybe you guys should hire me or something. You do have my contact information floating around somewhere (insert smiley face).

Well on that shameless note I think I am done for this week. Before I go I just want say that The Truth did the best thing he has done in his entire career and that was getting blown up by MacGruber. I haven’t laughed that hard at anything the WWE has done in years. Phantom Classic (my father) said and I do quote “Thank God they finally got rid of him”.

Sadly our joy was short lived as The Truth was on that NXT thing (or so I read from the results). Wow NXT is probably a whole other column and how the WWE fucked that one up. Wade Barrett is awesome though, so the show at least has one good thing from it.

So until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

The Rant Of The Week: TNA Is Pushing My Last Nerve

Greetings conversationalists across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow…the one and only Phantom Lord and this is your ever important The Rant Of The Week. As always I am coming to you from my above ground command center in the water logged capital of the world Brooklyn, New York. I like rain as much as the next person. In fact one can say I’m only happy when it rains, but good God was there a lot of rain last week. I’m amazed our sewer system which was I’m sure a model of perfect in the 1870’s was able to handle all the run off water. Of course area’s in New Jersey, upstate New York, and all points east were not as fortunate.

Wrestlemania has come and gone and for the most part I enjoyed the show. It wasn’t the greatest Wrestlemania of all time, but it certainly wasn’t the worst either. The one match I was looking forward to seeing was Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon and aside from The Hart Family as lumberjacks it went exactly how I figured it would. Some people are complaining about the match being horrible. Well to a point it was, but I was never expecting anything huge. I knew going into the match it was going to be Bret beating the living fuck out of Vince McMahon and that’s exactly what he did. Bret gave Vince a beating like he owed him money and it was awesome. Sure it might have gone on a few minutes longer then it should have, but in the end I saw what I wanted to see.



Even though the WWE hates the word wrestling and goes out of their way to never use the word; that right there is what Wrestling is all about. The good guy gets his revenge on the bad guy. Vince was a great chicken shit bad guy for so long and all the years of Vince being Mr. McMahon came to a head and Bret got him back for everything he has ever done. You can’t write a better story then that. It’s the simplest of wrestling stories and it has never failed. Okay granted this story could have been better, but you have to realize Vince was phoning this one in. He had no real reason to go all out and be Mr. McMahon and I know Bret said in any interview the only reason he came back was because he was getting bored with retirement.

Could the lead up to the match been better? Absolutely it could have been. But was the pay off worth all of it? Yes it was.

The character was spawned back in 1997 following the infamous Montreal Screwjob. McMahon's on-air character turned heel for the first time and it became the antagonist to the company's top star "Stone Cold" Steve Austin in arguably the best run in the history of the company.

With Bret Hart's return to WWE after 13 years, McMahon felt WrestleMania would be the perfect chance for Bret Hart to get his ultimate revenge and wipe out Mr. McMahon once and for all. The over-the-top beatdown he sustained at the hands (and feet) of the Hart family signified the end of the character.

McMahon is a firm believer in pushing younger acts and is not blind to the fact that he's in his 60's and the character more than ran its course.
Credit to the Wrestling Observer/www.f4wonline.com

If it was the end of Mr. McMahon it was a great way to go out. It’s like I said it was the perfect good guy gets revenge on the bad guy story.

The rest of Wrestlemania was good for the most part. Undertaker/Michaels was a damn good match and it was great that they got the main event of the show. I honestly thought Shawn Michaels was going to some how win only for The Undertaker to do some sort of insane mystical stunt where there was a huge flash of light and they both disappeared. The send of Michaels got on RAW was pretty good, but we all know he’ll be back in six months or so when someone lures him back to fight.

Jericho and Edge had a pretty damn good match as well and I was shocked and delighted when Chris Jericho won. I have always liked Edge, but Edge being a good guy just doesn’t work. Edge is supposed to be this sleazy scumbag who stole his best friends girl and does what it takes to win. But I guess you can’t be Rated R in a PG world. I’m glad Edge is back in top form, but the whole SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR thing might be the most annoying WWE catchphrase since WWE Universe. If Edge did a halfway decent spear it wouldn’t be so bad. Edge’s spear is a running hug. Personally I wish he would bring back the Edgeocution submission. That inverted sharpshooter he used to do was a pretty sick finisher and it fit him so well. The running hug not so much.

The best match of the night surprisingly was Batista vs. John Cena. Batista was in all of his Kanye West-esq glory (who ever had the Batista likes Fishsticks sign was a genius). I was amazed at how well this match came off. Batista really had his working shoes on and he probably had his best match yet since becoming a huge asshole heel. Cena was Cena. He over came the odds so what else can be said. I was really pulling for Batista to win and I thought he did after he caught Cena in mid air with the spine buster and then did the Batista Bomb. But as I said, Cena over came the odds and did his Superman recovery and put on the worlds worst STF for the win.

One thing I noticed was when Batista and Mr. McMahon tapped out, they did it in weakest of ways. For Batista it worked because he was like “I can’t believe I got caught in this and can’t get out”. But over all I’ve noticed when guys are tapping out now they lightly tap the mat. Call me old fashion, but if you are in so much pain to the point where you have no choice but to submit you should be frantically tapping while screaming YES YES YES I QUIT I SUBMITT. It would do so much more to build a submission a devastating finisher then lightly tapping on the mat and looking like your inconvenienced at that moment.

Overall I enjoyed Wrestlemania. I just wish it didn’t cost an arm and a leg to order. I feel sorry for anyone who ordered in HD. With cable bills being high as it is, $64.95 must be a real shocker.

Moving along to the flip side of wrestling, with the good comes the bad and TNA got absolutely TROUNCED last week against RAW. I don’t know who thought a taped episode would do well the night after Wrestlemania, but add them to a long list of people who should be fired in TNA. The funny thing is, the show it self isn’t too bad. Compared to RAW, Impact is actually pretty good. Yeah they are ripping off shit from late 90’s WCW. But compared to how boring and predictable RAW can be it’s a lot more interesting and entertaining.

The only problem is and the ratings reflect this is no one knows who the hell TNA is and when it is on. Yes there are plenty of problems with the booking. But considering all the problems TNA has, guys in power booking their friends and cronies over others more deserving is the least of their problems. TNA has no name brand or exposure what so ever to work with. Sure it’s funny to see a commercial for Impact during Smackdown, but local commercials only get you so far. I’ve said for the longest time TNA thinks they are way bigger then they actually are. It’s basically a massive inferiority complex. TNA doesn’t try to put on the best show possible or become a viable alternative. Their whole reason for being is simply to hope Vince McMahon acknowledges them in some way. Vince as we know could give two shits about TNA or any other company.


"We’re in different businesses," says McMahon. "We’re in the entertainment business and they’re in the ‘pro wrasslin’ business. It’s different markets. When they moved to Monday nights they threw the kitchen sink at us and only did a fraction of our audience. It doesn’t speak well for the type of product they’re trying to present with the tawdry, blood-soaked action. I don’t think that’s what the culture wants these days.”
Credit to Acorn Online

Well aside from Vince being delusional about the importance of the WWE being part of the American fabric, he did bring up a good point. They tried everything and didn’t even make a dent. But it has nothing to do with the product that TNA is offering. On the contrary there is a huge market for tawdry blood soaked action. The problem is TNA is doing nothing to get it. They are just pissing money away hoping that magically people will watch Impact over RAW. Judging by the 0.6 from last week that isn’t happening. TNA and the people at Spike TV do have some sense are Impact is starting at 8PM this Monday. Of course it only took them a little thing called the NCAA Men’s Basketball Finals for them to do this. Oddly enough if Shawn Michaels farewell was responsible for the rating last week in their diluted minds, then I can’t wait for the excuse this week with Impact going up against the game. Boy I can’t wait for Football season to start and to see if the Impact experiment even lasts that long.

I think we can all agree TNA should have kept the damn show on Thursday’s. Go live every Thursday and hope for the best. Ratings actually were slowly but steadily going up on Thursday’s. But alas they got cocky and greedy and we are where we are.

TNA’s booking is a thing of madness sometimes and evidence of that is the fact that they just let one of the most talented wrestlers in the world walk in Christopher Daniels. Daniels was a guy who helped build TNA and what did he get for his troubles? He got released because some people in the company didn’t see him as a star. These are the same people who think Orlando Gaga will be a ratings draw (and I’ll get to that in a little bit). But as I used to say, WWE’s loss is TNA’s gain…well now it’s TNA’s loss is ROH’s gain. Christopher Daniels went back to his other old stomping grounds in Ring Of Honor this past Saturday and all ready he’s positioned himself into a big feud with Davey Richards. Now truthfully I don’t follow Ring Of Honor as much as I should. Mainly it’s because I don’t have an HD television so I can’t get HD Channels and HD Net. But it’s pretty damn clear that after one surprise return in ROH was pulled off better then anything TNA has done in ages.

ROH really is the last bastion of hope for Wrestling in this country. I really wish they had a deal like the old ECW show’s where they would be on at night on MSG and other regional sports channels. It would be so easier for those us stuck in the 20th century to catch up on stuff. I think TNA should have followed ROH’s model for the longest time but TNA as we know thinks they are something big. I will hand it to ROH though. At least when they experiment with something and it goes wrong, instead of being stubborn and continuing to do it they see the problem and fix it. Such a novel concept that I really wish TNA would follow once in a while.

TNA was a bit smart this week though when they started the show at 8 PM and it paid off somewhat as the rating eked it’s way back up to 0.9. Of course this weeks Impact might have been one of the most maddening in recent memory. They had this Lock Box Challenge and if you were a fan of Women’s wrestling it probably would have made you want to pull an Elvis and shoot the television or at least throw something at it.

I can’t even begin to explain the rules to this clusterfuck of a match, but basically TNA spit in the face of the entire Knockouts division that has proven time and time again they can out draw everyone else on the roster ratings wise. So this Lock Box gimmick more then proves my theory that some people in TNA have women issues. The Lock Boxes were even more stupid then the match it self. Each winner got a key for a box. The boxes had “An open contract for a match of her choice”, “Must perform a striptease”, Poison the spider, and THE KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP.

Yes this meant that Tara could in theory lose the TNA Knockouts championship not in a match but by turn of the key. TNA has done some pretty retarded things in their seven years, but this one has to be in the top five if not top three of stupidity. How they continue to piss all over the Women’s division is beyond me. How they also let go of some of the top Women’s wrestlers in the world in the last few months is mind numbing. Awesome Kong gets to walk because TNA decides to stick with Bubba The Love Sponge.

Seriously fuck Bubba and he little army. It’s the same five people in the front row ever week with the Hogan and Bubba signs. That’s not an Army…it’s barely a platoon.

Now if TNA wanted a REAL Army on their side they should enlist the O&A Army: The Pests.



These guys know how to do viral marketing and that is something TNA needs some lessons in. I mean it was pretty funny during the show the other night to hear Mike Tenay tell everyone “TEXT AND PHONE YOUR FRIENDS, IMPACT IS ON NOW”. Considering they sent out e-mail last Thursday night saying Impact was on TONIGHT at 8PM and then inside the E-mail it said Monday it’s pretty clear that TNA can’t quite grasp this Internet thing. It’s ironic since TNA’s fan base is Internet fans. We are the only ones willing to stick through all this bullshit.

The plus side apparently Spike and TNA have decided to move Impact to 8PM permanently and also have the replays on Thursday at 9 PM. At least I can reset my DVR and tape the final episodes of 24 in peace now.

On a sad note this week, Chris Kanyon passed away at the age of 40 from an apparent suicide last week. Last night I made the trek into Sunnyside in Queens and went to the wake of Chris Kanyon at the Lynch Funeral Home on Queens Blvd. It was jam packed with family and friends and I would assume fans but I didn't talk to anyone while I was there.

Normally I wouldn't go to a wake for someone I didn't even know, but on Saturday morning I got an IM from someone I don't know asking if I had heard the rumor about Kanyon. I said I didn't and he told me that there was this rumor online posted by someone who lived in Kanyon's apartment building that Chris had OD'ed. I was hoping it wasn't true. The guy who IM'ed me asked if I knew anyone who could find out. I don't have sources so I couldn't but I checked an online FDNY scanner to see if there was anything about Paramedics in Queens for an OD but I didn't hear anything. Eventually I e-mailed the guy from DOI and Raven's office e-mail telling asking if they knew anyone who could check on his well being.

Sadly as we know it was all true. I decided to go tonight to just pay my respects. As I said there was a huge turn out so Kanyon had a lot of family and friends. There were a lot of pictures of him in better times. He looked as good as one can hope when they are laid out. I didn't know him but I said the best prayer I could and I asked God to take care him now that he's with him.

I didn't stick around to long. It was very crowded and I'm slightly claustrophobic so cramped spaces and me don't get along to well. I can only hope someday wrestlers get some sort of help so that in their darkest moment and hour they don't do something like this. I really hope that Kanyon’s death will serve as a wake up call for some but lets be honest, it won’t. It’s honestly sad to say that but it’s the truth. All we can hope for is anyone dealing with psychological problems like Kanyon was (he was diagnosed as being Bi-Polar) can get the help they need before it’s too late.

On a closing thought, a lot of people on the Internet found it funny that Lance Storm is retiring from reviewing Impact because of the top of the head wicked chair shot Homicide gave to Rob Terry so TNA could show what a monster he is. A chair shot like that a couple of days after Kanyon’s death was a bit too much for him. I don’t know if TNA intentionally did it just because the WWE and ROH are now banning chair shots to the head or if they think Rob Terry actually will be something more then a juiced up meathead. But there are a lot of things to cause one to stop watching TNA. Orlando Jordan would be one of them. I am all for a bi-sexual gimmick in wrestling, but Jordan does not have the presence or charisma to even pull off something like this. Plus lets not forget the fact that he is absolute crap in the ring. But of course Bischoff and Russo figure pissing off the Internet is better then nothing so of course we’ll see more of Orlando Gaga doing some simulated Bukkake for no apparent reason.

There’s probably a lot more I could say on this subject, but there’s only so much one can say with out coming off like a homophobe.

On that note I am done for this week. I am just truly sorry that the rumor about Kanyon was true. It’s one of those times I wish it was just a cruel Internet hoax. So until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

The Rant Of The Week: This Sure Is Some War...

Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I, your personal harvester of sorrow…the one and only Phantom Lord and this is the all mighty Rant Of The Week. As usual I am coming to you from my above ground bunker in Brooklyn, New York and I am glad that spring is almost upon us. Granted the loveable oversized rat known as Staten Island Chuck at the Staten Island Zoo said that spring would come early this year and we ended up getting two blizzards in the process, but all is forgiven as the snow is now gone and temperatures are finally way above freezing for once.

Well the day the wrestling world was waiting for has finally come and gone. The Monday Night Wars 2: Electric Boogaloo have started and TNA at least in my book I think did an amazing job for the most part and actually put on a damn fine program. RAW on the other hand was the same old shit because well lets face it; Vince isn’t too concerned about TNA.

Unfortunately for TNA, as good as the show was it did not live up to the hype (or lack there of) ratings wise and it BOMBED against RAW. I don’t think anyone is honestly surprised because well there is no war. In terms of war this is the United States vs. Grenada. TNA while they have a better product wrestling wise (for the most part), they cannot compete with the WWE head to head. The ratings for this show prove this as a fact.

Last week’s Quarter Hour Ratings for Raw & Impact:
Raw on 3/8 did quarter hours of 3.45, 3.15, 3.27, 3.15, 3.39, 3.56, 3.27, and 3.6 with a 3.98 over-run.

TNA on 3/8 did quarter hours of .99, .98, 1.00, 1.07, 1.07, 1.03, .95, and .76 with a 1.01 over-run.

That means people were tuning out towards the end of the show, and the first Hogan/Flair match on TV in over a decade did a .76 rating. Perhaps Spike TV could draw better ratings with a dog show.

Credit to www.f4wonline.com & DOIWrestling.com

I don’t pretend to understand how Nielsen ratings even begin to work, but something is clearly wrong when people start tuning out in mass when the main event started. As I said I thought Impact was the far superior show this past Monday night. The only problem is NO ONE GIVES A SHIT. People can argue all they want “OH WELL IT’S RUSSO…OH WELL IT’S HOGAN”. None of that really matters. It doesn’t matter how great of a roster TNA has or how many WWE castoffs’ it has or what ever. The problem is no one gives a shit about TNA. TNA has its core audience and that is it. TNA has done NOTHING and I mean NOTHING to build its brand and build an audience outside of the one it all ready has. They are just expecting people to magically start watching and to get hooked.

Well what’s the reason for me to watch? GIVE ME A DAMN REASON. There is an entire audience out there waiting to be tapped and you are doing nothing to get them.

See at this point when one is talking about ratings and TNA I just can’t help but play back a great bit in my head by the late Sam Kinison about how to solve the food problem in Africa. Granted its context makes no sense when comparing it to TNA, but in my head I have Sam’s voice screaming when I think about TNA. Sam says YOU MOVE THEM WHERE THE FOOD IS. Well TNA GIVE US A REASON TO WANT TO WATCH. SEEING THESE OLD CODGERS AND RIPPING OFF SHIT FROM 2000 ISN’T GOING TO CUT IT. I’m not going to tune in just because oh well look your on Monday night’s. You have to give me a reason to tune in and while I said Impact was the better show it was up against a RAW where Vince has been phoning it in for the last decade. He could re-run RAW’s from last year and no one would notice. He could say after Wrestlemania, RAW’s taking off the next month and you guys still wouldn’t be able to do anything because you give people no reason to want to watch.

The one thing that irked me the most about Impact was the whole TUNE IN FOR BIG SURPRISES. Well surprises are nice, but when you have no name value instead of promising surprises why not just announce who the hell is going to appear and plug the shit out of that. Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam are in TNA and they didn’t get so much as a mention because TNA and Spike thought that keeping it hush hush was the best option.
In the day of the Internet where any schmuck with a cell phone can post a status update on Facebook or Twitter with in seconds, it’s insane to think anything can be kept secret anymore.

They should have had RVD and Jeff Hardy on the promotion scene hitting radio stations and talk shows and hyping the hell out of the show. Instead things are kept quiet and RVD gets a fluke win over Sting and then gets the shit beaten out of him for what seemed forever because Hogan can’t run up the stairs anymore. Jeff Hardy then makes the save at the end of the show and it goes off the air before he even does his Swanton Bomb.

It’s honestly amazing at how inept TNA is when it comes to promotion. Yes Youtube and the Internet is a wonderful thing for marketing. But when you are trying to get an audience outside of the one you all ready have, it only can do so much. The funny thing is TNA has some very good videos that they put on Youtube. Perhaps they should also air these videos on television as well. It couldn’t hurt to throw a hype video on in place of wacky boss vs. worker comedy like Bischoff trying to get Jarrett to quit for some reason that’s not really clear. Then again, a lot of things with TNA are not really clear.

Ok well enough TNA talk for now. It’s taped this week and they are giving away a Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles match for free. I mean it’s not like anyone would want to pay to see that sort of thing…

I am eagerly awaiting Wrestlemania 26 for the Bret Hart and Vince McMahon match. There is so much intrigue in this match just to how it’s going to happen. Bret gave an interview with CTV news where he will be very careful and not to be worried about his safety in the ring.



As a long time fan of Bret Hart’s I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad concerned about him in the ring. But on the same token I realize Bret knows his limitations and he’s going up against Vince McMahon. This won’t be a highly technical encounter. It will be a straight up brawl where Bret is going to exercise the demons of Montreal once and for all when he beats the snot out of Vince and then locks on The Sharpshooter and makes Vince scream for mercy.

Over the last few weeks it seemed like all this was going to be was the usual Vince McMahon wankfest where he puts himself over everyone. But all of that changed last night after the contracts were signed. All the weeks of him making fun of Bret and making him look like a weak old man ended when Vince got a small taste of what’s coming to him at Wrestlemania.


Awe shit…



…Yep

I haven’t marked out like I did last night in quite a while after that little visual. Vince slowly realizing that Bret was 100% was so awesome. Bret was equally as awesome as he just sat there with a smirk on his face. This is the difference between the WWE and TNA. I know the lowly dwellers on the Internet give the WWE a lot of hate for the lack of creativity it shows at times, but when it gets it right…it gets it right. TNA couldn’t have pulled off the same exact angle with all the same people involved even if they tried.

Speaking of which we have BREAKING NOOZ!!!



The first reports are that RAW did a 3.7 and Impact did a 0.8.
Credit to PWInsider.com


Ouch.

I don’t think anything really needs to be said about that. That can just speak for it self and it speaks volumes.

We all know what’s going to happen though. TNA is going to push the panic button and they are going to do something stupid. There are many levels of stupid so I couldn’t begin to speculate here. Rest assured though when they do it, it should be spectacular.

Maybe I should point out that TNA does have my contact information so if they ever want a fresh mindset I am available. I mean I could easily double a 0.8 in a month if I had complete creative control. I have plenty of ideas on what one could do to turn things around, but I’m not giving them away for free here.

Come to think of it, that seems to be a problem you guys have. You gave away Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles FOR FREE. Yes I know odds are Jeff might be in federal prison soon, but that’s no reason to blow your wad with him now.

I mean if I were in charge of things I sure as hell would not have given away Hardy/Styles for free.

Okay I’m gonna get back to some thoughts on the WWE because as much as I might hate them at times, they are least have a clue as to what they are doing. One thing they are doing right is The Undertaker/Shawn Michaels feud. Each week the hype videos get better and better for this match and I can honestly say I cannot wait to see it.
Over the last couple of weeks they have been setting these videos to the song “Ain’t No Grave” by Johnny Cash from his latest posthumous album “American VI: Ain’t No Grave”. It’s one of the last songs Cash recorded before he died in 2003 and it’s an old Gospel song that tells the tale of when the time comes for the final battle of mankind, the grave won’t hold him down when it comes time to fight. In many ways it’s very fitting for this feud since you have Shawn Michaels who is still doing his Passion Of The Christ gimmick.

Just to be clear I’m not mocking Jesus here, just Shawn and his over selling in matches. Watch him during any match…even when he’s phoning it in. He’ll always be selling his back like it’s broken but he still has it in him to keep on fighting. The Passion Of The Christ joke stems from when Shawn would tap epic gushers in matches for no apparent reason back in 2003 to 2005.

Next to Bret’s match with Vince, I am really looking forward to Michaels/Taker II. I honestly don’t know what they can possibly do to top last years match since that was about as perfect as it gets (aside from the Undertaker giving himself a Piledriver on a botched suicide dive). Shawn being consumed with having to prove himself by beating The Undertaker has been such an awesome touch to the build. And now that his career is on the line if he loses it’s going to make it all the more fun. The only way to win is pinfall or submission. It’s the way wrestling should be.
Don’t tell anyone in the WWE that I used the W word. Lord knows they do everything they can to avoid using it. Sports entertainment, second-generation entertainer, ect, ect.

Speaking of wrestling, the WWE Hall Of Fame is official now and here is the current list of inductees.

Gorgeous George will be inducted by Betty Wagner

Stu Hart will be inducted by the Hart Family.

Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase will be inducted by Ted & Brett DiBiase

Antonio Inoki will be inducted by Stan Hansen.

Mad Dog Vachon will be inducted by Pat Patterson.

Wendi Richter will be inducted by Roddy Piper.

Not officially announced yet: Bob Uecker will be inducted by long-time NBC chairman Dick Ebersol.

That is a very stacked line up for this years Hall Of Fame. I hope Inoki’s induction will be on television just so we can see Stan Hansen come out and with any luck he’ll have the bull rope he’ll do some hoopin and a hollerin.

Wendi Richter will be an interesting one to watch for two reasons. One it will be fun to see what Piper says. He said in an interview Vince asked him to induct her because he’s the only one still alive from back then. Oh sure there are others still alive, but most of them are dead to Vince. The other reason it will be interesting is because Wendi was the first person to be screwed by Vince McMahon in a ring on live television. I remember the first time I saw the Richter/Spider Lady match on a Coliseum Video tape and I was like what just happened. That wasn’t a three count…but then Moolah took off the mask and I was like oooh ok it makes sense now. Of course what I didn’t know back then was Vince screwed over Wendi and that was the last time anyone would ever see her in the WWF. I always wondered what happened to her and years later I finally found out why she was never seen again after that. Well it’s been 25 years or so since that happened so it’s only fitting on the weekend that Bret gets to have his moment in the sun against Vince that Wendi comes back and gets her due.

I am interested in seeing the Gorgeous George induction mainly because you figured he would have been in it all ready. I really would have loved to been at the old Madison Square Garden on 8th Avenue and 50th Street to have seen a match with him. The heat he must have gotten just walking to the ring must have been nuclear. Apparently the WWE is going to be making a movie about his life so that’s the reason why they decided to induct him into the Hall Of Fame. Well better late then never I always say. It’s to bad they couldn’t get Muhammad Ali since Ali has always said that George’s character is what inspired him to be the style of fighter he became. But I’m glad they are inducting him because with out Gorgeous George there would not have been an entire generation of wrestlers in the late 60’s and early 70’s.

One thing I can’t figure out is if Mad Dog Vachon is being inducted; why not induct Butcher Vachon along with him like they did with Dory and Terry Funk? Butcher is equally as deserving as Mad Dog. On Youtube if you know where to look, there is a video of Da Crusher running in and attacking The Vachon’s during a match and Mad Dog ends up tapping a gusher that turns the ring into a murder scene. Granted it’s because Da Crusher stepped on his head as he was blading, but it was still pretty damn gory. Well worth checking out if you’re not getting your blood fix for this week.

Bob Uecker’s induction has gotten some hate on the Internet from the purist types who cant understand why a celebrity is being inducted into the Hall Of Fame. First off even as a Yankee fan I know that The Ueck is awesome. Secondly watch Major League 1 & 2 to confirm this fact. Third…it’s the WWE Hall Of Fame. If he were being inducted into the Dan Gable International Wrestling Institute and Museum then maybe some people would have a point. But it’s the WWE Hall Of Fame. Be more upset that Bruno Samartino, Bob Backlund, and Macho Man Randy Savage aren’t in (though those are more of them telling the WWE they don’t need it/heat with Vince more then anything else).

One last thing before I go, yesterday the WWE announced that chair shots to the head have now been banned in accordance with the “wellness policy”.


*The WWE has eliminated using folding metal chairs to “strike” an opponent in the head.

*The WWE penalizes through fine and/or suspension the following:

-The intentional use of a folding metal chair to “strike” an opponent in the head.

-Any blow to the head that is deemed an INTENTIONAL act.

*The fine and/or suspension will be directed by the EVP of Talent Relations.

This seems to be a good thing but as usual plenty of people are complaining about this as another reason PG is killing the WWE. This has nothing to do with being TVPG. This has everything to do with maybe allowing some of these guys to have some functioning brain cells left. It’s to bad state athletic commissions don’t take wrestling to seriously anymore because there are plenty of Indy feds where guys are taking shots to the head and getting their brains scrambled. Only difference between them and the WWE is, guys in the WWE are making money doing it.

But one has to wonder what else will be sacrificed in the name of safety. Throwing someone into the ring post? Slamming them into the ring steps? All variations of the DDT? All versions of the Piledriver and Powerbomb? All the Chokeslams? How long before punches to the head and headbutt’s are considered no-no’s?

I admire the WWE for doing this, but the real reason they are is so people don’t have any fodder to use against Linda McMahon in her run for the Senate. Of course there all ready is plenty to use against her just with the WWE’s business practices alone. But what ever the motivation, if it prevents even one guy from ending up with serious brain issues later in life then it is worth it.

On that note I am done for this week. Before I go, congratulations are in order for Adam Pearce who won the NWA World Heavyweight Championship for a third time. Pearce defeated Blue Demon Jr(the champion) and Phil Shatter in a three-way match to on March 14 at NWA New Beginnings in Charlotte, NC. The NWA has been doing a lot of rebuilding since the whole fiasco with TNA using the World and World Tag team titles. Pearce has many detractors in wrestling, but I think everyone will agree that it’s a good thing that the NWA World title is back up north after it’s vacation south of the border as I read on a message board I go to.

On www.DOIWrestling.com there was this post from Eric Walker and an unnamed NWA Promoter.

The NWA World Title Belt itself runs about $1,900. Sadly, this means the physical belt is worth more than the Championship it represents. Honestly, if the NWA had a brain, they would do a unification match with ROH and at least the NWA Belt would be defended on ROH shows and the occasional NWA territory show and Japan. Oh, and the NWA did such a great job promoting this show I didn't even know the show was happening let alone the title switch. Oh, and where can you get a cup of coffee for 50 cents?
- Eric Walker

Please don't insult coffee by comparing it to Adam Pierce. Adam is a horseshit champion. People at least line up for coffee. -
A current NWA promoter

I haven’t seen much of Pearce so I can’t comment on him being a “horse shit” champion. But the idea of unifying the NWA and ROH titles seems like a good one and it would make sense to do. In a perfect world one could work out a deal and make ROH the NWA’s flagship territory. I really wish promoters would come together like in the old days instead of backstabbing each other. But alas that is pro wrestling so there will always be one guy shit talking about someone else because they are working against him or something.
Well on that note I am done for this week. I would like to thank TNA for fueling my creative fires once again because this Monday Night Skirmish has me somewhat interested in writing as much as I can again. As long as they do stupid stuff and continue to dig themselves deeper into a grave they can’t get out of, I’ll have plenty of material.

So until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.

You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback on my Facebook page under my given name http://www.facebook.com/josephrd

Monday, Monday...

It's a mere 8 hours before the return of TNA Wrestling's iMPACT! to Mondays. The difference? This time, they're not going live on Thursdays anymore. The famed Monday Night Wars have returned - if only in concept.

During the original Monday Night Wars, World Championship Wrestling defeated WWF/WWE for over a year's worth of consecutive Mondays. The New World Order was the hottest thing in wrestling since the dawn of Hulkamania. Can David knock off Goliath again? Is Vince Mcmahon's in-ring return enough to shut down Hogan's hype tour?

My feelings have always been the same on the subject:

1. Competition is good for the business and the fans. It makes each company work harder to produce a better product the fans will want to watch. Otherwise, the product is shoved down our throats or we simply tune it out.

2. TNA is still solidly playing the role of the underdog. They're less wealthy, on a lesser-known and broadcasted network, and they've got a payroll/roster full of former WWE and WCW "stars." I think that alone is a dangerous formula.

3. Pissing off Vince McMahon is a very bad idea. The fact that his Superstar of the '80s now works for another company (again) has to be grinding his gears - hard. WWE will not back down. If TNA wants a war, they've got one. Hulk Hogan may just be poking at the top of a white-hot fire thinking TNA can compete now. He was there when WCW was on top, and he was there when it died. He will not want to admit defeat to his former boss - again.

4. On the other hand, maybe a pissed off Vince McMahon is exactly what Hogan wants. McMahon is known to blow up backstage over the little things, and the last decade of WWE programming has been a lot of what I've come to call "the VKM Amusement Show." He gets the final say on everything, so if the ratings suck, guess who is to blame? Recycled angles, cheesy humor, lewd jokes, and less and less wrestling is WWE now. It's entertainment that isn't always entertaining, and I've gotten used to rolling my eyes (or threatening to stab myself in the neck like I did when "ECW" became Vince's newest pet project).

In any event, the Monday Night Wars have returned. Don't miss it!